Ear Wank

To Ear Wank (verb) is the act of firmly inserting a finger into one's own ear and then fairly vigorously jerking the hand up and down.

The person who is "ear wanking themselves off" experiences an intense satisfaction; not dissimilar to, yet still distinct from, the same satisfaction experienced when scratching an unpleasant itch.

An Ear Wank (noun) comes from the verb, and describes the act of undergoing an ear wank.


Note that it is possible in theory to ear wank other people off, but due to the risks involved (eg. ear wax) it is rarely practiced and not widely accepted in Western Society.

Alex: "Tom... WHAT are you doing?"

Tom: "I'm ear wanking."

Alex: "Oh. Looks weird."

Tom: "Yeah."

by Mrweh October 18, 2008

Sandpaper Wank

An unpleasant/painful experience, which could be likened to masturbating with sandpaper.

"Wasteman! That exam was like a sandpaper wank"

by Eazy-JT January 20, 2010

Cry wank

When you're a sad fuck and horny at the same time

Mike: god i wanna kill mah self
Tyler: why don't you just cry wank
Mike: *proceeds to kill himself*

by Sad fuck March 25, 2020

Wank Beam

wank beam - a beam across a gap of which you aim for when you ejaculate

Hey man check that wank beam over there, i bet i can jizz on that bad boy!

by Amy Walker February 2, 2010

wank hovel

when you have had a bad day, its the place where you go to curl up, wank and cry

"mate, my girlfriend dumped me, didn't leave my wank hovel for 2 weeks"

by smellthatshit78 October 12, 2009

Gangster Wanking

when you chronically masterbate to hip hop videos and so forth!

Conner: william why do you always watch hip videos?
William: because im a gangster wanking!

by trippywill May 11, 2013

Wank fairy

A mysterious being who, after a guy has masturbated in bed and not bothered to wipe up after, arrives and cleans up the area.

Responsible for the disappearance of cum

"The tooth fairy takes teeth - the wank fairy takes jizz - simple as that"

by Benjalo November 16, 2009