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Carpet Sampling

The act deplorable act of cutting a hole into a stuffed animal, fucking it, nutting inside of it, then taking the fur of the stuffed animal, cutting it off, and making a fur suit out of it, then wearing it in public.
Person A: Hey what the fuck are you doing?!
Person B: Oh I’m just carpet sampling

Person A: Carpet sampling is the new meta!!

Person B: Kill yourself!
by AbsoluteComedy April 1, 2024
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Logical Simplification Bias

A pervasive cognitive bias and metabias, especially rampant in social media comments and replies, where complex, multi-dimensional issues—spanning technology, science, politics, history, and society—are aggressively reduced to simplistic logical formulas that sound reasonable but actually function as conversation-stoppers. The sufferer deploys phrases like "that's not logical," "it's too easy to make conspiracy theories," or "it's hard to build" as universal solvent, dissolving any claim that exceeds their narrow frame of reference without engaging its substance. This bias typically couples with Truth Bias (assuming one's own perception captures the whole truth) and Objectivity Bias (treating one's culturally-conditioned reasoning as universal reason itself).

The logical simplifier doesn't argue against specifics—they argue against complexity itself. Presented with speculation about advanced technology, they respond with generic difficulty assertions. Confronted with political possibility, they invoke governmental messiness as if chaos precluded capability. Faced with any claim outside consensus, they deploy the "conspiracy theory" label as automatic disqualifier. The bias lies in treating these logical-sounding simplifications as sufficient responses, when they actually bypass the difficult work of engaging evidence, possibility, and the vast territory between "proven fact" and "obvious nonsense."
Example: "When someone suggested the government might have energy weapons, he didn't discuss the physics or history—his Logical Simplification Bias fired instantly: 'it's hard to build, government is messy, so not logical, it's easy to make conspiracy theories.' He'd reduced decades of classified research, unknown technological progress, and genuine historical secrecy to a sound bite that made him feel rational while learning nothing."
by Dumu The Void March 12, 2026
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Related Words

Public Sampling

Sneaky head in a public space, especially a higher trafficked public space, that whets the appetite for future acts.
We were exploring the gallery and then snuck into a storage room for a little public sampling - just a taste.
by GwebDeez November 8, 2025
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The Mary Simpkins

A church going person who lies and spreads rumors. Elderly washed up has been or ratchet.
A jump off, bigot, or person who enjoys drama
Oh bitch, you just pulled The Mary Simpkins on her ass!
by South of 0 July 11, 2019
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One way simping

When a person and another person simp for eachother but when one person causes a problem to the other they stop talking to them for a while but again both start simping shortly but can easily stop when a problem occurs
John why are you one way simping for Ava she keeps simping back but then leave than come back
by Howdoidothis September 2, 2020
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Second hand simping

When you simp for someone that simps 😉
Person1: I’m my gosh it’s so cute how she simps for him

Person2: Omg your second hand simping so much
by Theabusivecat;) June 3, 2021
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The counterpoint to constructed complexities: the observation that powerful, appealing "simple" narratives ("Make America Great Again," "Follow the Science," "It's the Economy, Stupid") are themselves careful constructions. They are built by stripping away nuance, context, and contradiction to create a clear, mobilizing story. This simplicity is a rhetorical tool, not a reflection of a simple world, and its construction is key to its political or social power.
Example: "The slogan 'Defund the Police' is a masterclass in the Theory of Constructed Simplicities. It condensed a vast, nuanced policy argument about reallocating resources and reimagining public safety into a potent, three-word construction. Its power and its liability came from the same source: it was a simple hammer built for a complex nail, designed to shatter existing frames of thought."
by Abzu Land January 31, 2026
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