computer clap

When your computer gets a virus from surfing porno sites and/or watching on-line pornography.

Attributed to Lane Leipold
"Hey Lane, you'd better stop watching that porno on your computer , or it will get the computer clap and you'll go blind!"
"I was checking out Jenna Jameson, and next thing I know my computer has the clap; thecomputer clap! "
by Salty 40 March 18, 2018
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computer stooge

Jim used to have a computer, but it crashed one day and now he thinks it's broken for good. He has been offline for 3 years now. What a Computer Stooge!
by rolisk August 02, 2007
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computer pants

A better sounding name for the underwear you wear in front of a computer for maximum comfortability (and thermal balance) when you are alone at home and don't have to go somewhere.
When I get home, I'll change into my computer pants.
by felixh September 30, 2016
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Apple computer

Originally designed as an educational tool in the 70's it was marketed as the first computer small and cheap enough to be owned by individual consumers. Touted as the first "personal computer" and simple enough that a child could learn to operate they gained contracts with U.S. schools. They had 2 main competitors IBM which focused on business applications and Commodore who focused on entertainment (games and media).

As each improved it's side applications Commodore had trouble in the market as businesses leaned heavier on IBM and Apple had contracts with the U.S. educational systems. People saw games and media as frivolous and Commodore filed bankruptcy. However Apple snatched up bits of it and started to develop visual media which is still it's bragging point today.
IBM set it's sights on international markets and set a standard for clones and compatible systems working with Microsoft they developed the windows operating system and truly became personal computers globally.

Apple, although making models for individuals, has somehow gone to market as simply "Apple" all others systems are called PC (personal computers).

A closer look shows this to be true. IBM compatible computers have programs written by anyone and used by individual preference.

Apple is developed by Apple, licensed by Apple and largely slow or incompatible with any other systems They cost 2-3 times more and have a cult like following of hipsters and people who think they know more than everyone else.
I got the most expensive computer on the market!

Oh, really? What kind of Apple computer did you get?
by Appledumpster June 25, 2017
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fanless computer

A computer which doesn't have a fan, it is normally very quiet and can be exposed to the elements outside, but it is more prone to overheating of its components, obviously.
Look, that cool dude over there has a fanless computer,
Oh don't worry about him, it will overheat eventually
LOL. Not Really
by FICKPICK November 26, 2017
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School computers

School computers are not something you really care about that much and even if you drop them it's okay. That is because they never break even if you drop them a thousand times and they are indestructible
by Adude...... November 15, 2021
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School computer

The shittiest machine ever.
can't do anything on this lousy machine
probably made by goblins in the year 10000000000000000 b.c. and then puked up by a yak and pooped out by a skunk
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAMN GLITCHY ITS PHYSICALLY FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!!!!
student: I HATE THIS FUCKING SCHOOL COMPUTER!!!
teacher: YOU WERE UNMUTED!
student: DAMN IT!!!!
Nelson Muntz: HAW HAW!
by Lovecraftian_Horror#1 January 19, 2021
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