theory of relasstivity

Theory that a perfect ass has three attributes:
1. Lower butt - The lowest part of the ass, should be firm but not hard.
2. Middle-earth - Middle of ass, should be softer than the lower butt and stick out more.
3. Heaven - Highest part of the ass. "As above down below". Should be similar to lower butt.

Damn Joe, that ass definitely follows the theory of relasstivity!

by Nyota June 29, 2014

Kesler's Theory

Within every atomic mass in creation exists an entire universe. Through the fusion of two atomic masses the universes within them collide to form one greater though unstable universe. Through division one atomic mass is split and so splits the universe within it into two smaller but much more stable universes. The universes within atomic masses lie dormant until either fusion or division.

If we assume that Kesler's Theory is true then we can also assume that the Big Bang Theory is also true and was the result of the fusion of two atomic masses in another universe.

by yugeryy January 22, 2022

The Bush Theory

The bush theory is a theory that all of the bushs (US presidents) are all lizard people.It explains how the bushs caused 9/11. They live underground in there swamps and are the main cause of swamp ass

George: Did you hear about the bush theory.
Jack: Yeah man it's crazy.
George: Better be careful. You might get swamp ass.

by Op elitewaffle January 20, 2016

The Raemi Theory

The theory that all modern day life originated from the distanf planet Rae. The Raemi peoples set forth on their voyage in the year 609, and projected their landing on our solar systems Sun. However, tragedy struck when the Sun flared, and their ships were subverted into a crash landing on Earth. The Raemi peoples lost most of their advanced resources, and were forced to adapt and evolve into the modern day human.

“Have you heard of the Raemi Theory? It’s, like, totally rad, dude!”

by Skajya June 18, 2021

Stumaker theory

Named for professor Stumaker, it was loosely termed as a theory by students though it lacked the appropriate peer review to deem it as one. It is the idea that one can infer if a woman has ever had an orgasm based solely on how comfortably she talks about sex.

Katie talks so much about sex. I'm sure she must have had an orgasm if the Stumaker theory is correct.

by Joey LaGalo June 6, 2005

Jerk Theory

The theory that a girl is more likely to become attracted to a guy who is a complete tool and treats her with little to none respect over a nice guy.

I bought her some flowers but when she answered the door there was some jerk there too. He just handed me a book on the Jerk Theory.

by Thatone random guy May 5, 2014

boots theory

A socio-economic theory named by the character Captain Samuel Vimes in Terry Pratchet's novel "Men at Arms." The boots theory suggests that wealthy individuals end up spending less money in the long run compared to poorer individuals due to the wealthy being able to invest in high-quality products that last for several years or more, whereas the impoverished must subsist on cheaper, low-quality versions of the same items that only last for a short period of time before needing to be replaced.

"My rich friend is able to buy a pair of boots that cost me two months' salary, and they'll last him forever. I'm stuck buying crappy knock-offs that wear out after only a few weeks. That's boots theory in practice right there."

by AOmundson January 29, 2022