hand cream

That infamous post jerk-off semen on your hand that you don't quite know what to do with.

Johnny- Hurry up in there Brandon, we have to go.
Brandon- Give me a break Johnny, I've got a fist full of hand cream in here and nowhere to wipe it! Jeez!

by The Ugly Barnacle February 27, 2015

Shower Hands

Shower Hands - Adj

Used to describe the fingers of person who has been in a shower for a while and cannot roll a cigarette or joint.

Guy 1: Aww, shit dude. I've been washing up for a job and now i can't roll a doobie for after. Fucking shower hands

Guy 2: Sucks bro

by Samael86 February 28, 2014

Museum Hands

When a person's hands get covered in cum resulting in being unable to touch anything, much like in a museum.

I couldn't turn the doorknob to get out of her bedroom because I had museum hands.

by Director October 23, 2014

Cheeto Hand

1. The crusty orange powder that ends up on any finger you use to shove Cheetos into your face

I had to lick off my Cheeto hand before my girl came over....

by Cephalo August 28, 2005

ball hand

Act of putting hands down ones pant grabbing there genitals and slapping another person in the face

I just ball handed the shit outa that guy

by Pete April 29, 2004

Hand Dolly

A slang term for a soothing hand gesture taking place around a penis, in which the penis is stroked quickly until ejaculation.

Also known as a handjob.

Hey have you seen Jonus and Michelle anywhere?

Yeah, they're in the back room. I wouldn't go back there though, she's giving him a quick hand dolly before we leave.

Yeah, I'll stay away from that.

by Sasha Collins July 15, 2011

Jimmy Hands

An individual, often a co-worker or your one perverted uncle, that sneaks up behind you and gives you a quick, friendly feel up and erogenous zone grope.

I was bent over handing an order out the drive thru and old Jimmy Hands groped my ball sack.

Uncle Carl

by Eaton Holgoode March 1, 2017