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technochondriac

The friend you have that runs 4 antivirus programs, 10 different freeware anti-malware packages and is running zone alarm, norton internet security AND the windows firewall at the same time? The same guy who insists that defraging his hard drive every weekend makes surfing the internet faster?

Yeah, him.
(As defined by Dax420 on Reddit)

{Call to software company}
Customer: I installed your {program}, and now the geek squad is telling me I need a new hard drive!

Agent: Sir, I apologize, but I'm afraid that there's no way our {innocuous application} could physically damage your hard drive.

Customer: Oh yeah!? Well GOOGLE says your program destroys thousands of computers every year!

Agent: I am not one to question the Google sir, but I am telling you; it's not possible.

Customer: Then explain why GOOGLE has 40,000 results when I search for "{software name} destroyed my computer"!!
Agent: PEBKAC?
Customer: What??
Agent: Sir, I'm afraid you're a technochondriac.
Customer: *click*
by thisnameissoclever February 11, 2010
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Techno-crunch

The cringe like feeling during the period of time when you are debating on whether to buy technology and find yourself trying to find the cheapest deal available, even if you cannot really afford it.
Mike: I had to wait a month for my G3 phone to be returned from HTC, while it was under the 12 month warranty.

You: Did they charge you?

Mike: Can you believe it? They charged me $39.00 for returning my $#!%.

You: At least it wasn't the $100.00 deductible by Asurion. It seems like everyone's feeling the techno-crunch post 9/11.
by jcontreras September 4, 2010
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Related Words

Techno-Klutz

An individual that has a much greater than average difficulty operating and/or maintaining electronic and/or computational devices.
I break every device I own. I am the only person I know that buys the extended warranty and actually uses it. I am such a Techno-klutz!
by Bannananannabobryan December 2, 2011
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Technoblade

'Technoblade is cool.'

-Sun Tzu-The Art of War
by Andnowbythesea October 25, 2020
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Technoblade

An anarchist pig who wants all forms of monarchy and government destroyed and is also really good at PVP.
“We just got kicked out of our country! Do you think that pig over there can help us?”
Nah man, that’s a Technoblade.”
by Lovely lol November 18, 2020
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Technobald

Technoblade when he's in his post cancer recovery arc.
He has no hair, like Technobald.
by hugedonkeyballs November 8, 2021
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Techno Ninja

A myhthical, probably asian or specifically japanese, man that came from another dimension to inflict terror on two men. One man was completely oblivious to the Ninja, but he eventually causes the demise of him by pushing him out a window. The other man thwarts the attacks of the ninja, one method by pwning him in the face with a gate. The ninja's abilities include smoke teleportation and randomness.
Dude, did you see "Return of the Techno Ninja" yet? I heard the Techno Ninja dies.
by Fei Hong Chan III January 28, 2005
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