roast goals

BITCH STFU.You are not at all sexy.In fact,you're a fuckpuppet.
My idea of a perfect Monday afternoon is watching a midget ram your colon.Know why you have polio?Because you're a dickless wookie lover.Heavens to Betsy you loathsome whale fucker,why does your whole house smell like ass?
Go get fucked by a yeti.Gargle a cup of ass juice you cum sponge.
You're cool.And by cool,I mean unsightly.I hope some hobo porks you in the hole until you can't pee standing up,you spelunking anus explorer.Wow you're gorgeous.Just kidding,you're a seal clubber.Why don't you go braid your pubic hair,you dumb cum fountain.My idea of a superb Friday morning is watching a convict rape in your ear.And my two personal favorites;Drink a pint of vaginal discharge,brofessor.Holy flying fuck,you fucking queef.Go get teabagged by a gorilla in a damp alley.
by It's Harambe November 27, 2016
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Empty Net Goal

When your life is super easy, whether it be due to White Collar Steroids, or simply, things that are difficult or stressful for others are given to you.
Lance: Man, I cant even get an INTERVIEW for this role and I have all the credentials, how the heck did Keith get the job, he is an actual moron.

Spencer: Keegan's dad is a big deal at the firm, set the whole thing up. His life is an empty net goal.

Lance: Man, I wish MY life was an empty net goal, who the fuck wants to pay a mortgage every month.

Spencer: Ya, the worst is Keith acts like all of this is difficult for him. Like, Brosef, we know your life is an empty net goal and you don't have to worry about your car payments.
by Mike109999 January 31, 2022
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goal angel

Term used to describe soccer goalies who go to exceptional lengths to save the ball.
Teammate: “David was a real goal angel last night. He had 13 saves!”
by AkiraSJW7 November 09, 2020
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goal shorts

shorts you buy that are a bit too small and your goal is to lose weight to fit in them.
"oh my god! i finally fit into my size 7 goal shorts!"
by Alice13193 March 12, 2014
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Goal yehiawy

To score a sweaty goal in a console soccer game as a result of an inability to score properly.
a7a enta msh 3aref tel3ab fa hatgeeb goal yehiawy?
by thechinshunguy January 23, 2021
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dick goal

A woman' junk; vaginal; pussy
" Look at that' dick goal I'm totally shooting at that tonight."
by jjthekid June 24, 2014
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dick goal

The amount of sexual acts, in which a penis is necessary, that one aspires to participate.
My dick goal is to receive six Paul Giamatti Snow Globes before I die.
by jkHeZ June 24, 2014
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