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Wank My Schmeat

When you are in a hurry to get to your grandmother's funeral and you have to quickly bust one out in the Loaf-n-Jug stall whilst one other man is next to you in the urinal enjoying the sweet harmony of your grunts and wheezes.
Oh no! It's my grandma's funeral! I better wank my schmeat to replace the whipped cream on the pie for later!
by Your Mom's Gay February 2, 2019
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Clearing my History

The double entendre figure of speech referring to the process of actually clearing your computer history/cookies and a masturbation session that results in an orgasm.
Im sorry im late for drinks guys, but i was "clearing my history".

My wife and kids were home, i was rapidly "clearing my history".
by ponzi_joe June 4, 2013
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The voice in my head

Some pretty scary shit...
The voice in my head... His name is Gregory.
by IcyShadows June 10, 2011
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Security on my Dick

i.e, condom, rubber, fuck glove, areolagias, alaskan bay woofer, south beach dicker, fuck protection.
Jimmy should have used a security on my dick because Sally had AIDS. :(
by Poopenstein October 6, 2008
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Oh My Bogdan!

When 'Oh My God!' just doesn't cut it.
by slapaflurbap October 11, 2019
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safe my mate

South African slang meaning everything's OK/cool/just fine thank you. Often said with a unique hand gesture whereupon one makes a fist, with the two fingers at either side remaining extended.
"Safe my mate" is a common and accepted response to a friend's loud (often drunken) inquiry as to one's wellbeing, often from several rows back at a rugby or cricket match.
me: "Hey Mannie! Howzit going, man?"
Mannie: "Safe my mate!"
by Stuart Kelly December 30, 2007
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wadgeine my maquilla

to perform an undisclosed sexual act upon the shlong(blowjob or sex)

comes from stonner adaptation of words of the irish language(Gaeilge).
"how about you wadgeine my maquilla?"
by hoboc November 9, 2008
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