Taking his load of babies straight to the cervix and then leaking it all out while getting your daily dose of protien
by Frickenfina August 15, 2022
Get the Protien douche mug.A person who is incredibly annoying as a salesperson, clerk, or bartender. Someone who is a douche about how much they are charging for something.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Charging a lot of money for something is not what qualifies an individual as a mercantile douche. The individual must get upset and defensive when you challenge or inquire about the pricing schedule of their product. Basically they will be a dick when you ask about the price of something, and act like they are personally offended by your question. This description of an individual is especially poignant when the individual that is acting as a mercantile douche is not the individual who sets the prices or actually receives increased revenue from the pricing schedule.
Bar Patron: "Hi sir, why does this IPA only get a 12oz pour but the pale ale is 16oz?"
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
Mercantile Douche: {launches into lengthy diatribe about the cost of brewing beer and state laws about alcohol consumption. also uses condescending tone and has hipster mutton chops}
Bar Patron: "Geez man, I was just curious... I'll take a pale ale"
Mercantile Douche: {ignores social cue from patron that he doesn't want or need the lecture and continues his butthurt speech about why you should pay the same price for less on the IPA, eventually does poor beer}
"Wow, I just asked that bartender why the IPA cost a dollar more than the pale ale. He got super butthurt about defensive and started lecturing me about the cost of making beer. What a Mercantile Douche."
by kingofthedodge December 31, 2018
Get the Mercantile Douche mug.Heads up, there’s a Safety Douche coming to inspect us.
Based on the size of that Douche, we are all getting wrote up.
Based on the size of that Douche, we are all getting wrote up.
by Captain Safe-T June 16, 2022
Get the Douche mug.by dmurex May 23, 2022
Get the douche bag mug.the new word for a jerk. Usually wearing aviator sunglasses, a polo shirt with the collar popped, and thong sandals. These people usually start their stories with "Dude, i was so wasted last night." and tell them loud enough for everyone to hear
"Did u hear Xander making fun of that girl while she was up in front of the whole class? what a douche bag"
by jewish faced dude October 4, 2011
Get the Douche Bag mug.When a person is cool or fun to be around most of a time, but occasionally will turn on his or her douche faucet and the doucheness will just flow out without stopping.
Chris: Dude, we were at "the party" and Joey just totally turned on his douche faucet, pushed me in the pool, called Connor a fatty, paid in pennies for 18 bags of chips at the store, then mugged a chinese immigrant, molested a three year old, and punched a mexican prostitute in the face!
Nik: What a douche faucet!
Geoff: I think Joey's douche faucet is taped down in the "on" position.
Nik: What a douche faucet!
Geoff: I think Joey's douche faucet is taped down in the "on" position.
by Always 777 December 12, 2011
Get the Douche Faucet mug.The feeling one gets when he/she is watching a douche commercial with his/her parents and starts to physically 'cringe'.
by Gunner Longfellow January 13, 2007
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