Douche monkey means: Someone being rude also acting very ignorant and saying or doing something uncalled for. (2) An insult or joke to use for someone you do not like or are friends with
(1)
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
Guy: "Hey lady you would look good in my bed."
Girl: "Go away you Douche monkey."
(2)
Girl:"My Douche monkey where have you been?"
Girl(2):"Did you just call me Douche monkey??"
Girl:"It was a jokey insult."
by Dalyena October 26, 2015


Term used to describe the group of males lingering in various locations (i.e. bars, clubs, bowling allies, etc.) near last call, hoping to scam on desperate and/or intoxicated females.
Also referring to the quality of man, being as these creatures are of the lowest quality and are often compared to pond scum, or the crap at the bottom of the toothbrush holder in your bathroom.
Also referring to the quality of man, being as these creatures are of the lowest quality and are often compared to pond scum, or the crap at the bottom of the toothbrush holder in your bathroom.
by Ghouly Girl April 1, 2011

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025

by Deodexidus October 12, 2013

An attractive person who acts like shit.
by Sarah vivian April 12, 2021

A term of endearment used to express boundless, unbridled, and unconditional love for your friends (and vaginal cavity)
bye, douche
by natsrox1998 April 15, 2017
