Schrodinger’s beard

When someone has a sizable amount of facial hair, but it still cannot be considered a beard. Usually common in high school boys and reddit moderators.
Person 1: I cant tell if that guy has a beard or not
Person 2: Yeah. He’s got a Schrodinger’s beard
by TotallyDinosaur October 04, 2023
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catnip beard

A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.
Foley's got a real catnip beard; whenever I see him I just can't keep my hands off of it!
by figurista June 07, 2014
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Ear Beard

When the hair in a man's (or woman's) ear becomes so coarse and bountiful, that it resembles a normal facial beard. It needs constant grooming and trimming.
Praful's ear beard has gotten so out of control that you can no longer see his ear, only the hair that covers it. Praful shaves it monthly, but his ear beard 5 o'clock shadow is apparent by the next day.
by Taterbutthole October 26, 2010
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Mask Beard

Like hat hair, mask beard is the state a medium to large beard gets into when shaped by a tight or poorly fitting mask.
Bro that mask beard has ruined your carefully rugged exterior, and you now look like a poorly trimmed hedge
by Moist Barbarian July 13, 2020
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beard Squad

A sqaudron of elite of men who possess the means to grow abnormal beards of great lengths. Most men are flabbergaseted by the length and girth to these mens beards. They also possess the means to party for massive amounts of time, and can usually be heard throughout yelling "Beard Squad"
We just drank that whole bucket of juice, BEARD SQUAD!

Hey man I just got a case of beer, BEARD SQUAD!
I just found my wallet, BEARD SQUAD!
Lets go to the beer store, BEARD SQUAD!
by thebah87 February 07, 2011
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Jizz Beard

AKA Splash Tash

The stocky mass of bugger broth which usually finds itself pumped on the chops of a genuflecting lass or ravenous mincer.
‘As Denise skipped out of Pinewood Studios after her successful audition, she wondered if the 50cc’s of rod flem that had been pissed on her face to form a claggy jizz beard was worth it.
by Herbie Dongsporran October 13, 2021
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beard second

The unit of distance. The length the average beard grows in one second.
That race was like 4 billion beard seconds!
by Thinkingray April 04, 2014
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