child protective services

a number that is called once for every 7-year-old who uses TikTok.

"Hey Tom, you got any idea why Child Protective Services just had a huge spike in calls?"

"Yeah, 3 million a day is pretty wack."

by anonymous April 10, 2021

Porch pirate

A person who, ( self explanatory hint), steals your Amazon deliveries right of your front porch.

The term porch pirate may have been invented by Adam Carolla. Why become a porch pirate when you can just loot a California train?

by Sexydimma January 14, 2022

A good pirate also sails on the red sea

If your girl's on her period, who cares, just fuck her.

Hey man, I want to fuck my girlfriend tonight but it's her period and it'll be a bloody mess.
- cmon dude, a good pirate also sails on the red sea.

by reggiemt April 20, 2017

Pirate of the Internet

(noun)-person or group of people who "illegally" download or upload movies and/or music, documents, etc. for download for the masses of people who cannot or will not spend the money on the actual product (whether the price is outrageous or not)

We are pirates of the internet!!
I am a pirate of the internet.

by Raz Vectranos December 28, 2006

Protender

The act of one pretending or proclaiming to be a pro athlete when in reality they are not. Particularly common in the sport of triathlon.

Protenders are fond of applying for as much sponsorship as possible. They are proud to wear more logos than a NASCAR and claim to have "signed" with these sponsors. Yet, in reality, their sponsorship is little more than a cost discount.

Sadly there are several instances of protenders bending the truth or blatantly lying to potential sponsors in order to land a sponsorship, thus stealing said sponsorship from deserving real pros.

Protenders are almost always slow, non-competitve and little more than pack fodder.

"Did you see the new Team Timex roster? What a bunch of protenders".

by eire8tri January 12, 2011

urban pirate

A person that lives in the city, whether it be big or small, or elsewhere that is not on the open sea, that partakes in the ritual of stealing anything he can get his hands on.

In the plural sense, a band of urban pirates may go and steal things because they are bored, not just because it makes them feel good.

John: I'm bored.
Kyle: Me too.
Sarah: Me too.
John: Let's go steal something!
All: Okay! *Urban pirates get up and leave their dwelling to plunder a street sign, rum, or whatever else may look appealing to them at the time*

by Quentin Pasternak August 4, 2006

scrotum pirate

One who pillages the scrotum area, usually a biter of the nut sac.

Well the closest thing would be phat andy.

Phat andy is a scrotum pirate.

by Steve the fawkin cougar August 8, 2006