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Douche Canoe

Douche Canoe (noun): A self-absorbed, obnoxious individual who drifts through life on a raft of arrogance, bad takes, and an utter lack of self-awareness. Often mistaken for a human, but upon closer inspection, closely resembles a sentient, poorly groomed toe with an attitude problem because he likely sat on a pinecone.
Example: Kyle, the human embodiment of a stubbed toe, leaned back in his chair, manspreading like he was claiming land, and loudly explaining why everyone else was wrong about literally everything. Between flexing his "elite genetics" (despite looking like a swollen big toe) and hitting on anything that moved, he remained blissfully unaware that the entire room was desperately hoping for a strong gust of wind to carry his douche canoe far, far away.
by Sassenach March 14, 2025
mugGet the Douche Canoemug.

Douche

That douche Obama is making America nigger-rich.
by Deodexidus October 12, 2013
mugGet the Douchemug.

pistol douche

One whom exclusively uses the pistol in a shooter game, especially by just using it to pistol whip. Usually frowned upon by all other players, especially in the XBOX 360 game Gears of War.
In a Gears of War Match:

"That guy's being a pistol douche. He never uses any other weapon!"
by bigmax June 17, 2007
mugGet the pistol douchemug.

douche bag

A person who shuns the use of sleeves and regards bottle openers as a poor substitute for slamming beers bottles on kitchen tables
It's 20 below and Zach still refuses to sew those sleeves back on his sweatshirt...what a douche bag
by Rytoc December 7, 2007
mugGet the douche bagmug.

Douche Water

When you are even worse than a Douche Bag. You ARE the Douche Water. It's one thing to be the bag that flushes the bad stuff out of the vagina, it's another to be the nasty water that comes out of it.
You are such an asshole that I can't even call you a Douche Bag. You are the Douche Water dude.
by veggiegator August 1, 2013
mugGet the Douche Watermug.

Revved up douche

Taken from a lyric of Manfred Mann's "Blinded By The Light". A revved up douche is a douche of a person who is 'revved up', i.e., acting particularly douchey; someone being extra rude, loud, over the top, etc.

To be revved up like a douche is to be someone exhibiting behaviors like that of a douche that is revved up.
"Did you see that revved up douche in the crowd?"

See also:

"Man, Jack was really revved up like a douche today"
by KillerNugget April 5, 2024
mugGet the Revved up douchemug.

Douche

(adj.) classification applied to a person, or group of persons, who intentionally exhibit behaviors and/or make statements without care for others. Several divisions of the "douche" exist. 1. Selfish douches, who act and speak with only concern for their own needs, desires, and wants; 2. Righteous douches, who believe their actions are sanctioned by a higher power; and 3. Retributive douches, who purposely act in such a way to inconvenience selfish and/or righteous douches.
That guy who parked in two spaces is a douche!
Yes, but that guy who parked 3 inches away from the two space parker's driver's side door is my kind of douche!
by jewellstudent February 28, 2014
mugGet the Douchemug.

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