douche canoe

A twatwaffle's car.

Hey, I heard Ed got a new car. Yeah, you mean the USS Douche Canoe.

by dglarn May 4, 2019

Douche

A kind of douche: a privileged person who doesn't know they're privileged and who thinks in terms of refining a brand for themselves through purchases made with discretionary income. They also adopt and discard opinions in pursuit of their ever evolving brand. One clue to the douche personality: everything they wear is fairly new because they're always tweaking their brand, fiddling with new things they can afford to buy. A douche loves passing tests and going for brass rings, acquiring markers of success. They are self-centered strivers and usually clever and worldly. For them, the world is primarily a place where they can consume and win at status games.

He/She is a classic douche. He/She is only interested in apartments south of 96th St that reflect their success and cleverness and where they can hang out with other douches so they can deplore people's non-pc ideas and feel good about themselves.

by MH1979 June 1, 2023

Douche Bag

A man who is douchey

"Look at Zach he is a douchebag"

zach is a douche bag

by courtneyvinal February 12, 2010

douche canoe

someone who is the worst person, so much that they're as bad as several douches combined

"Ugh, I really hate him."
"I know right? He's such a douche canoe."

by Bitch Canoe December 12, 2023

DOUCHE PENALTY

PUNISHMENT RECEIVED WHEN ONE OF TWO PARTIES ASK FOR HELP IN ACCOMPLISHING A TASK, THAT BENIFITS BOTH PARTIES, BUT GETS DENIED. THE PARTY ASKING FOR HELP THEN CALLS DOUCHE PENALTY ON THE DENYING PARTY WHICH RESULTS IN THE FIRST PARTY NOT PERFORMING THE TASK FOR 20 MINUTES HOLDING THE SECOND PARTY TIME UP AT WORK.

PARTY ONE: HEY CAN YOU HELP ME WITH THIS SO WE BOTH CAN GET OUT OF HERE?
PARTY TWO: NO JUST GET IT BACK HERE TO SHIP ALREADY!
PARTY ONE: DOUCHE PENALTY! I'LL WAIT SO YOU HAVE TO STAY LATE AND WHILE YOUR WORKING ON YOUR END I'LL BE HEADING HOME. ASS BAG!!

by SHADOW BANDIT June 16, 2010

Douche Stamp

A hickey left on you by a douche that breaks up with you via email the day after receiving the stamp.

Do you have some make-up for my douche stamp?

by Babardouchebaginator June 10, 2010

Douche

Someone who farts in another's face.

"Bob is a stupid douche because he farted in my face, can you believe that, Shirley!?"

by Ploopyschmoopy October 2, 2025