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April Jesus

Is typically any hot girl that colours her hair different primary colours on a regular weekly basis and struts around with a beautiful figure. She's the type of girl who isn't afraid to take photos in alleys in your downtown districts while in the rain. Hence April as in April showers and her beautiful figure is where Jesus' miracle of giving beauty comes in. Hence April Jesus.
Hey, check out April Jesus over there. Woot woot!

Look at those April Jesus' (used when seeing a big group of hot girls with primary hair colour)
Dam, she's an ugly April Jesus. (used when you see an ugly girl with a primary hair colour. so.. an April Jesus reject or a weeaboo)
Hey, I just saw April Jesus walking in the park.
Fuck you April Jesus! (used when upset with an April Jesus)
by lilacgirl97 May 26, 2022
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walmart jesus

also called low-bar jesus

noun / the phenomenon of men being praised for the smallest accomplishments. men doing the bare minimum and being worshipped as great men (doing something that women do and DO NOT receive praise for because its seen as their innate responsibility).
"he always changes the baby, hes the best father."
"that's just walmart jesus. the bar is subterranean"
by georgia011 June 9, 2022
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sonia jesus

Someone that has a secret crush on a milf that he knows. Doesn’t have the guts too say it to here, but if Jesus had the chance he would have smashed that ass of Sonia when that leotard at the club was looking delicious that night.
Sonia jesus Marcos best friend really wants to express his fleeing with you
by Soniajesuslove July 9, 2022
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Melatonin Jesus

Melatonin Jesus is a popular character from the absolute fucking AWESOME religion that is Melatonism.
If you are apart of the Melatonism religion and know who this guy is your a FUCKING GAMER HOLY SHIT I WANT TO RIP OUT THE TROUGHTS ON EVERYONE WHO DOESNT AGREE WITH YOUR OPINION. if you are apart of this religion your will get all the bitches like holy cow to many bitches, there will be so many bitches you will get the national #1 bitch gatherer in the entire world much like the Yoinky Sploinky dance move.
The creator of Melatonism and Melatonin Jesus is a YouTuber named MrGamingGuy and he is the founding father of Melatonism.
Guy 1: yo dude have you heard of Melatonism?
Guy 2: no what is it?
Guy 1: “gives 10 hours explanation on what Melatonism is and about all the achievements Melatonin Jesus has made”
Guy 2: holy shit I need to fucking kiss you on the moulth now
by MrGamingGuy August 21, 2022
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Creepy Jesus

The demon of Jesus who lurks in your hallways at night 😈
CREEPY JESUS IS GONNA GET ME
by JesusLover2028 August 29, 2022
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Amish Jesus

Amish Jesus is Jesus with a horse drawn carriage and a funny top hat.
Kanye W: Bro that mf look like Amish Jesus the way he got the beard and hat.
by Lil Hemmorrhoid September 17, 2022
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Amish Jesus

Jesus, but with no technology, and a horse drawn carriage and funny hat.
Kanye W: that mf lookin like Amish Jesus with his goofy ahh hat n shi
by Lil Hemmorrhoid September 17, 2022
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