goals

When your best friend is going to marry but your friends and you are poor so the party before getting marry are all of your friends with a d**k in the head and d**k balloons singing in the street lights on by shawn mendes

My party before getting marry is going to be goals I'm going to wear a d**k in my head and sing shawn mendes songs in the middle of the night with my best friends

by la payne October 15, 2017

Own goal

Changing your own news descriptor from “alleged rapist” to “actual rapist”.

The verdict on actual rapist, Bruce Lehrmann’s two counts of rape in Toowoomba, Queensland have yet to be passed down. (Example for “own goal”)

by grimjimslim April 15, 2024

field goal post

what happens when there is one person getting perryed from both sides. Much like the eifel tower, the end result of the field goal post looks like a field goal post

We made a field goal post last night and now i can't hear

by Yeah Tone January 6, 2008

goal angel

Term used to describe soccer goalies who go to exceptional lengths to save the ball.

Teammate: “David was a real goal angel last night. He had 13 saves!”

by AkiraSJW7 November 9, 2020

Anti goals

Natalie’s work microwave

This microwave is below the national average and keeps my food lukewarm, that’s anti goals

by Shaniq Harris April 23, 2025

potato goals

 potato goals is a being who superior. possibly a queen. Anyone with a ship name is automatically in "potato goals"

Ex.-'Jaron'

that not only being a potato queen makes you potato goals but being a potato captain as well

"Did you see Jaron & Mags over there? They are literally 'Potato Goals'."

by potato.goals October 15, 2015

roast goals

BITCH STFU.You are not at all sexy.In fact,you're a fuckpuppet.
My idea of a perfect Monday afternoon is watching a midget ram your colon.Know why you have polio?Because you're a dickless wookie lover.Heavens to Betsy you loathsome whale fucker,why does your whole house smell like ass?
Go get fucked by a yeti.Gargle a cup of ass juice you cum sponge.
You're cool.And by cool,I mean unsightly.I hope some hobo porks you in the hole until you can't pee standing up,you spelunking anus explorer.Wow you're gorgeous.Just kidding,you're a seal clubber.Why don't you go braid your pubic hair,you dumb cum fountain.My idea of a superb Friday morning is watching a convict rape in your ear.And my two personal favorites;Drink a pint of vaginal discharge,brofessor.Holy flying fuck,you fucking queef.Go get teabagged by a gorilla in a damp alley.

My roast
Roast goals

by It's Harambe November 27, 2016