jack wipe

the cross between a jackass, and an asswipe, hince the name, jack wipe.

you jack wipe, leave me alone!

by j varone December 12, 2004

comfort wipe

a phrase for which someone has reached the lowest level of intelligence, reserved for true retards who probably don't know how to wipe their own asses.

1."Jesus Marco, why did you crack my pencil in half? Youre SUCH a comfort wipe"
2."Comfort wipe, my ASS!"
3."Jesus Christ Susanna why'd you key your own car?" "I thought someone stole my parking space!" " Susanna your such a fucking comfort wipe. "

by KaiLilly September 2, 2009

courtesy wipe

one who needs to go the restroom and re-wipe their ass, because they did not get it all the first time around.

Greg is walking with his friends and spots a public washroom. He says to them wait here, I need to go for a courtesy wipe.

by king tim January 3, 2007

poke wipe

When you get done eating sauerkraut all day, after New Years and your asshole is so raw it hurts to wipe normal so you have to poke your butthole with toilet paper just so it doesn’t continue to hurt any worse and cause mass-bleeding from hemorrhoids.

Goddam I ate so much sauerkraut I had to poke wipe my chili ring all day it hurt so bad.

by Bretandalexiswillgetmarried January 17, 2018

ass wipe

an insult for a fucking idiot who’s stupid as hell

erica is a fucking ass wipe

by Yungsavagealex October 17, 2019

Conqueror's Wipe

When you have to really put some effort into passing a massive shit, and put one foot up on the bath to wipe your arse, having totally dominated the toilet.

After eating a 40oz steak the night before, it took GP half an hour to pass the results, but the Conqueror's Wipe afterwards was totally, totally justified

by Gronksucker March 27, 2019

wiping fingers

The fingers used to hold toilet paper to wiping your ass after taking a dump. If you also use wet wipes your ass won't be stinking.

Guy 1: Man did you wash your wiping fingers after you took a shit? Guy 2: I only do that if my fingers smell like shit after wiping. Guy 1: That's nasty bro. You need to wash them every time after.

by jimmybomm July 11, 2021