comfort wipe

a phrase for which someone has reached the lowest level of intelligence, reserved for true retards who probably don't know how to wipe their own asses.

1."Jesus Marco, why did you crack my pencil in half? Youre SUCH a comfort wipe"
2."Comfort wipe, my ASS!"
3."Jesus Christ Susanna why'd you key your own car?" "I thought someone stole my parking space!" " Susanna your such a fucking comfort wipe. "

by KaiLilly September 2, 2009

courtesy wipe

one who needs to go the restroom and re-wipe their ass, because they did not get it all the first time around.

Greg is walking with his friends and spots a public washroom. He says to them wait here, I need to go for a courtesy wipe.

by king tim January 3, 2007

insurance wipe

The action of wiping after a clean poop thus insuring yourself of a clean balloon knot.

Sam: "Man i just wasted four squares of toilet paper!"
Devin: "What do you mean?"
Sam: "There was no poop on the toilet paper after I wiped."
Devin: "Well, then consider it an insurance wipe, you can never be too safe!"

by Bill Lowbiter March 2, 2014

botched wipe

The point when ones finger penetrates the paper barrier between it and the anus causing feces to get under the nail. Verify by sniffing the suspect finger.

After smelling my finger I determined I had a botched wipe

by Ivan Denisovich December 31, 2013

Slime Wipe

When you wipe/lick the slime off someone's gooch or taint.

Eww. did you hear about when Tyler slime wiped Ryan.

by The Procrastinator February 11, 2015

ass wipe

a person who being or acting stupid in any type of way

"Stop being a ass wipe!"

by shesryda July 19, 2015

Razor Wipe

Toilet paper often located in public washrooms that shaves your butt hole while wiping it.

Dude that Mcdonald's bathroom has some serious razor wipe going on. I might have to by new underwear.

by officeworklife July 26, 2015