Bed Napkin

The top sheet of the bed. Can be used to wipe bodily fluids off of face after dining.

Honey, where’s the bed napkin so I can wipe the saliva/semen/pussyjuice/santorum off my chin. I’m a big mess! The last time I saw it, it was twisted around my ankles.

by Sad giraffe May 25, 2019

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Bed scrapers

Breasts so large that they scrape the bed when engaging in intercourse in the doggy style position.

Hey Brad, have you seen the new receptionist? She's got some real bed scrapers

by Nicker_doodle September 23, 2016

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A person who speaks in a low and poorly articulated voice when sleepy or recently awoken, so that you have to constantly ask them to repeat themselves. Especially refers to people whom you're lying in bed with.

you: So we should do this again sometime babe.
bed mumbler: (incomprehensible rubbish)
you: What?
bed mumbler: (incomprehensible rubbish)
you: Wait, say that again.

by imwithbeardy February 28, 2009

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Bed Zoned

the act of brining back a female counterpart to your bed but not being able to score/get any action ie a friendzone within a bed

Fergus was totally Bed Zoned last night with that girl!

by Own_thing May 24, 2017

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Bed-Reading

The action of placing a book in your right hand, running full speed at your bed, jumping precisely five feet away from the mattress, completing a one hundred and eighty degree spin while simultaneously crossing the book between your legs. You then land on your back with the book open and proceed to read your story of choice.

Bed-Reading is an extreme sport, only for the elite.

by dirkdiggler12 December 4, 2016

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