Bearded Nelson

Someone who attempts to grow facial hair while being physically unable to grow a complete, bushy bear-like beard, and instead sports what is best descirbed as 'peach fuzz'.
This person is usually fairly young, and should probably wait a few years before tying to sport facial hair again.

This look us often paired with a mullet.

Friend 1: Hey look at that guy over there, he can't even grow a proper beard like a real man.
Friend 2: Yeah that is a proper bearded Nelson, mate.

by Hankorus, King of the Beards November 27, 2012

COVID Beard

An unkept, greasy set of facial hair brought on by isolation during the self quarantine phase of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Did you guys see Garrett yesterday on that zoom chat? His COVID beard was repulsive.

by DRJAY April 23, 2020

Bearded Pope

The act of shitting on the face of an elderly Catholic.

He was fuming after being given a bearded pope

by dcj278 July 6, 2011

catnip beard

A man's beard that is so attractive women (or men) cannot control their impulse to touch, stroke, or rub themselves against it, similar to how cats find catnip irresistible.

Foley's got a real catnip beard; whenever I see him I just can't keep my hands off of it!

by figurista June 7, 2014

zombie-beard

A combination of zombie apocalypse and neck beard. It it well known that neckbeards are obsessed with the collapse of society, so they fantasize about some kind of apocalypse. The thing is that most neck beards are either extremely over or underweight there for extremely unathlectic, so in the extremely unlikely events of an apocalypse they will most likely be the ones to die first for obvious reason. I’ll give them credit that they usually know a lot about survival, but that’s about it. There are three main reasons why they have this mindset.
1) They don’t have the social skills to fit into normal society

2) There are no marriage laws so they can force a fair maiden to court them and be some kind of white knight
3) They think their gonna be Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead or maybe even a Daryl, but in reality they’re most likely a Eugene

4) They think they will somehow out live all the athletes and chads
In the end why the hell would anyone want anything a horrible as some kind of apocalypse to happen. I mean seeing all your loved ones get eaten and die that’s just plain awful.

Yes people like this actually exist
Zombie-beard: I’m so ready for the apocalypse I have all my katanas and machine guns!
“Chad”: How will you outrun them? You’re 300lbs?
Zombie-beard: I won’t run like a coward I’ll kill them all! You ignorant simpleton!
“Chad”: Whatever man.
*zombie outbreak*
“Chad”: Oh shit! Run!
Zombie-beard: *gets eaten* AHHHHH! NO! THIS IS NOT HOW IT TURNS OUT IN MY THE WALKING DEAD FAN-FICTIONS MAGGIE WAS SUPPOSED TO LEAVE GLENN FOR A REAL GENTLEMAN LIKE MEEE!!1!
Maggie: Who is that guy?
Glenn: No idea

by Thequeenofbasicbitchery October 28, 2017

cooter beard

A cooter beard is a mustache/goatee combo that connects and resembles a 1970s vagina, crudely referred to as a cooter.

In an disturbing grooming trend, more and more men are sporting the cooter beard.

by Navinger March 6, 2020

Ear Beard

When the hair in a man's (or woman's) ear becomes so coarse and bountiful, that it resembles a normal facial beard. It needs constant grooming and trimming.

Praful's ear beard has gotten so out of control that you can no longer see his ear, only the hair that covers it. Praful shaves it monthly, but his ear beard 5 o'clock shadow is apparent by the next day.

by Taterbutthole October 26, 2010