Dirty Pretzel

When you tie up a hooker with a yeast infection, squirt a whole bottle of yellow mustard in her vagina and then bang her with your sweaty, salty, post workout dick.

Person one: How was your trip to New York?
Person two: I had a dirty pretzel, New York style

by Megawreckindaddyhitler June 16, 2019

Pretzel

Pretzel-n.- A woman or man that is small in stature and overall body mass, with the naturally reoccurring gymnastic like flexibility to pick right up off the ground and condense into a maliable dough, during intercourse and hammer down. Usually lifted at as extreme as 180° bends by the 'pretzels' knee joints. Followed by wrapping their arms around their own legs. This allows for maximum hammer time.

Ex. Person 1: Hi, so nice to meet you. I absolutely love pretzels

Person 2: (in absolute speechless confusion) great?

Person 1: Pretzel fuck. A pretzel. You're a Pretzel.

Person 2: Jesus Christ.

Person 1: hey you're a pretzel
Person 2: I'm sorry I'm a what?

Person 1: I'd Pretzel fuck the shit out of you.
Person 2: my God you need Jesus.

by Travey James January 6, 2020

Salted pretzel

The act of having sexual intercourse with a woman while she has her legs behind her head, as you are about to blow your load you cover both her arms and legs with your jizz, tell her you will go get a towel but instead leave her there to dry.

Hey Gary last week I gave Mel a salted pretzel, I wonder if she is still laying there

by Lovecraftmind March 20, 2019

Pretzel force

The amount of power or strength it requires for one to pull apart a soft pretzel in relation to the distance of obstacles around the pretzel in question. The amount of time the pretzel has sat at room temperature factors in this equation as well. PF= √p/f/d.

This term is actual chemistry, however. The usage is a phenomenon that typically occurs on Saturday happy hour dates to Scottsdale Beer Company, AZ. Especially when sitting next to handsome men when the pretzel plate is far too near one's beverage.

It wasn't my fault the drink spilled, the pretzel force was too much!

by Katesridiculousness April 19, 2018

chocolate covered pretzel

A person being salty as a prezel, while still being sweet about it like the sweet chocolate covering the salty prezel.

She's so sweet and salty at the same time. She'said just like a chocolate covered pretzel.

by Chocolate Covered Pretzel April 17, 2017

philly pretzel

A condition in which you stretch your dong out long enough to wrap it around your balls and either shove the entire “Philly pretzel” into your significant other’s butthole or your own butthole.

“Sex last night was great! I even gave her the ol’ Philly Pretzel and she loved it!”

by Jimbobnutcalamity May 26, 2018

Pretzel

When two beings contort and twist their body into the shape of a pretzel and join up at the vagina and penis.

Sex, Sexual intercourse, The Pretzel, Pretzel-ing time

by CoolMan3667 February 21, 2013