masturbation rolodex

All of the people you would like to have (and/or have had)
sex with, any of which can be selected to fantasize about while masturbating.

I picked Maria from the masturbation rolodex last night

by Woody Thomas July 21, 2008

transtemporal masturbation

The phenomenon in which one begins masturbating at 11:59pm on New Years Eve, and ejaculates minutes later in the next year. Resultantly, the person's single masturbation session occured in two seperate years.

I started jerking off in 2016, and finished in 2017. I just engaged in transtemporal masturbation.

by iHeartBaconator December 31, 2016

thought masturbation

When someone has dumbass thoughts in his head that motivates him while doing nothing about it, usually all those people do is imagine and get pleasure from thinking some bullshit. They like to share those thoughts with their friends and listen to some music/look at images while thinking about it.

Michael's head:

*listens to balkan rap* => I need to move to Serbia !!
*looks for BMW photos on google and listens to german rap* => I need a BMW to prove em all wrong !!
*watches ultimate last minute goals on youtube* => I will become a football coach soon !!
*looks for some 90 days 90kg lost videos on youtube and listens to motivating songs* => tomorrow i start gym !!

Michael: bro, i finally found what I needed in my life..
Djafar. his best friend: Man stfu. i'm tired of your thought masturbation..

by upsetrobbery June 23, 2020

masturbating jungler

n. a term used for a jungler who does not contest objectives and rarely ganks lanes. If he decides to gank a lane, he ints like there is no tomorrow.

Support: Why is our jungler not contesting dragons?! What a masturbating jungler!

by bananas107 May 16, 2023

Facebook Masturbator

This term is used to describe one who posts status updates, links, videos and or pictures, as well as other wall posts, and then goes on to "like" the posts. The indidual may have a phsycological disorder, as its obvious they like it. they posted it.

Tyler: "Did you see that Viggo is going to get the new Halo game tonight?"
Skylar: "Yeah, he posted it on facebook, and then he 'Liked' it."
Tyler: "He liked his own status? what a Facebook Masturbator ..."

by squirrelyJOE October 18, 2010

Chronic Masturbation

A saying in The Walking Dead telltale game

You guys know i im here?
Chronic Masturbation!

by Bitter Bleach May 28, 2019

journalistic masturbation

When a journalist writes an article showing off his or her writing skills, vocabulary and worldly knowledge rather than sticking to the job of reporting. This is usually the case in an interview where the opinions and insight of the subject are overshadowed by the journalist's uncontrollable need to show off. It is when the standard of unbiased journalism becomes commentary when it is not supposed to be. In other words, it's all about the writer's ego.

The best example ever of "journalistic masturbation" can be found in the cover story of the LA Weekly Nov. 30 - Dec. 6 issue/ Vol. 30/ No. 2 "Dennis Kucinich Has Five Minutes For You" by Dwayne Booth.

by Mr. Clizzy fresh December 31, 2007