Quantum Wank

n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."

I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!

by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 5, 2010

Wank Mit

A mitten used to aid masturbation. Often knitted from wool. A posh alternative to the wank sock.

Available in male and female flavours.

Tobias, my mom just found one of my wank socks and put her hand inside it!", "Dude, you really need to buy a wank mit, they're washable too

by WankMit April 13, 2011

karen wank

Anything that makes a Karen cream her pants. This includes but is not limited to:
Being told she must do something
A request of hers being refused
A new rule being implemented
Any opportunity to complain
More than one manager currently available
Too much lettuce on their fast food burger.

Oh god, too much lettuce....that's another Karen Wank.

by KosherBob January 6, 2021

King Wank

After a few days/weeks or sometimes months of being unable to find yourself in a situation where you can masterbate, It will be paramount for your health and well-being to have a king wank or as some say, a King Wankathon. A king wank consists of multiple back to back wanks (sometimes hitting double figures). After you’ve completed this task you will need an armchair to sit and to rest your arms like a king would on his thrown. As a bonus while performing the act you get a ‘no one can touch me right now’ kind of feel whilst the dopamine courses through your veins.

Where’s Tom? Oh that’s right he was staying at his parents house for the last few days, he must have had a king wank when he got home, he’d be fast asleep, ‘All hail king Tom’.

by King wank July 31, 2019

romantic wank

A wank with some romance

Shaun liked nothing better than a Romantic Wank after a long day at the office. Put on some Barry White run a hot bath light some candles and charm the snake while getting freaky like Grace Jones until bed time.

by PoOpa FoOker March 23, 2016

Wank Palace

A guy's room that is rigged up with every tech boy toy there is

Yeah, that's his computer cave, or as he calls it, his wank palace.

by tomwrong January 15, 2011

Casual Wank

Wanking casually, usually when a person wanks whilst talking to a friend and having a generally good time. Often happens at social gatherings

Hey Sean? Are you having a casual wank?

by JakeCookieee August 29, 2015