chair wanker

Typically found in groups, people who go to music festivals and set up near the stage with deckchairs, inflatable sofas or picnic blankets and expect everyone to leave a big gap around them. Often can be found not even using aforementioned items.
"Hey did you enjoy the Isle of Wight Festival?"
"Sure, but there was chair wankers everywhere!"
by Wighteggy June 12, 2019
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Wanker Anchor

According do Daniel Sloss : a person who stays the same with you when you suffer loss. They don't walk on eggshells around you; they remain constant.
by inthemoodforsomehellraising December 21, 2018
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Phone Wanker

Someone who attends a live music event and insists on filming the performance on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere. Exactly what these dipshits do with the footage after the event is unclear but it's likely it just sits on their phone, acting as a reminder of the performance they attended in person but largely watched via a 5 inch screen. The Phone Wanker is further characterised by the person filming the event with their phone in a vertical/portrait orientation, thus rendering the footage unusable for any purpose other than viewing it on their phone. Sadly all attempts to capture the event for prosperity (or perhaps bragging rights) are rendered useless anyway since the diminutive microphone on the phone is inadequate when faced with the venues high powered speaker stack.
I went to see Rag n Bone man in concert last week. Amazing gig but I was surrounded by Phone Wankers who insisted on filming it!
by JayWon April 21, 2017
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wankers burn

wankers burn is not unlike a chinese burn, it happens when your straight up and down action developes a slight sidewards twist , thus causing surface errosion of the penis , can be treated by using a splint made out of ice lolly sticks and cotton wool dipped in linseed oil and tar , leave on for a couple of weeks and bobs your uncle good as new and ready for the next round, wankers burn support groups are available ,
doc wats the cure for wankers burn , a fat chick with the pox
by jizzcannon1 January 31, 2011
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Bus wanker

A person who uses a bus as a way of public transport is immediately referred to as a bus wanker
by Mia Waldeck January 04, 2019
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Mooch Wanker

For those Indian and Pakistani individuals with the exact same haircut (short back & sides with a quiff) who drive around in their fathers BMW and say either "bro" or "innit" after every sentence.

They also go to Mooch on Broad St every Friday night with money they borrowed from their grandparents.
by KingOfEverythingAskWiz January 03, 2016
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Macro Wanker

A male that jerks off incessantly. His masturbatory activities are on a level that is so large in scale and scope it’s well beyond your average male that gives it an occasional tug.
Dude you are such a macro wanker. Do you ever not watch porn and wank? Do you ever leave your room?

My roommate was a macro wanker. I could always hear him but rarely ever saw him.

My porn addiction has turned me into a macro wanker.
by Dick Onchin September 27, 2020
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