crack report

n.: a newspaper or similar medium, rolled tight and fashionably stuffed in the rear between the pant waist and the undershorts of a middle aged man. Crack reports can be found anywhere, but are most common at race tracks, betting venues, ball games, and other sporting events. Most reports, but not all, contain various residue, leftovers and miscellaneous bacteria that is considered unsanitary by the local health department.

"Charlie! Don't pick up that crack report! You don't know what asshole has been reading that..."

by Dr. Josephus February 28, 2009

Crack Apple

A larger-than-usual build up of feces in-between the buttocks. Any dingleberry larger than a grape. Very rare and valuable to gross people.

I've had monumental gas since my coffee break at 9 AM and now I need to go pick out a hearty crack apple.

by Talledega Knight October 4, 2009

Rack-crack

The cleft between the jugs of an amply blessed, top heavy, well-made woman.

Man - "Here love, hold me pint while I nip t'bogs"
Wife - "You wot, can't you see I've got me hands full here. Tell yer wot, just pop it in me rack-crack
Man - "Alreet love, well I'll be quick then, I don't want me beer getting warm"

by An-of-the-Warr September 19, 2012

crack knee

The physical appearance of a crack addicted trollop whose knobby knees poke out from their emaciated legs.

Are you hooked on crack? I only ask because your crack knee is currently poking me the thigh.

by mabeea July 4, 2010

Skype Crack

The act of mooning someone when answering a skype call.

Dude, I totally skype cracked your mum last night

by Nearchow November 1, 2010

cobweb crack

oh where to begin...picture this: a hot, humid day...you're workin up a nice, sticky sweat for hours and hours without a break. you go to bend over or sit and ever so gently you feel this pricking tug between your swampy moist butt cheeks. you wonder what could it be? a tick? a mosquito? but deep down you know, you know exactly what it is. when you woke at the crack of dawn and did your number in the bathroom, you wiped too hard, using too much toilet paper. This left pills in your sliver which when combined with a hot summer's day and sweat creates a cobweb crack that pulls and pinches with sudden movements. yes folks, ouch is right. but remember, now that you know you can prevent this from happening. a washcloth and water are useful tools after #2's. HELPFUL HINT: a quick swipe with your finger can snap the web...BEWARE: finger might reek of old poop and farts.i forgot to mention its the toilet paper that gets stuck to your butt hairs and pulls to create the pain.

"Ouch, man I just felt a massive prick." "Who you callin prick, Johnny?" "No man, in my butt crack." "Oh come on, not a again, you got cobweb crack again today?" "My alarm clock didn't go off again and you're always early" "I guess you better do the manual snap" "Just don't complain when you get a wiff at lunch when I'm sharin my chips with ya."

by jerry james June 25, 2007

high crack

a butt crack that is 6 to 8 inches above the waste line

she had such a high crack she had to lay down to take a shit!

by fah q September 28, 2004