Metric fuck ton

Exactly 42,069 pounds, calculated to be the best measurement produced by the metric system.

That is a metric fuck ton of shit!!

by Gooberdiesel October 30, 2025

Fuck-ton

2 shit-tons, 4 assloads

Carl made a fuck-ton of mistakes on his final

by nevynevynolegs November 1, 2017

Ton

1000 kgs

A ton of food

by ABigPotato November 23, 2021

Shit ton

Contrary to popular belief, a shit ton is actually only 4 of the given item named.

Bruce: Gary's slept with a shit ton of chicks.
Bob: Only 4?! That's so lame he's 26!

by dbalb55 November 29, 2010

tonative

That look you get from your girlfriend when you have missed y’all’s anniversary and you KNOW IT, but can’t get past the TONATIVE look she has been shooting you for the past 6 hours!

My girlfriend the other night would not stop staring at me with this TONATIVE look, like she was going to kill me, because I didn’t remember our 1st anniversary !

by FunnyFlirtyThirty November 19, 2019

A Ton

When you suddenly leave work without reason and no one notices for two hours

Employer:"Where is the new guy we hired?"
Employee: "he pulled a Ton"

by elle kae September 11, 2020

Two Ton Tanya

Usually in reference to extremely obese women who have to go everywhere on mobility scooters

person 1: hey look over there at that fat lady
person 2: oh jeez bud thats Two Ton Tanya right there!

by harry cockswallower February 9, 2023