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alphabetical anguish

"Climbin' da walls" level of distress regarding any of a number of "English 26" debacles, including:

banguish: What an explosive-device diffuser feels while trepidatiously operating on said unstable-powderkeg creations, knowing dat they could "go boom" at any moment.
clanguish: How you feel when handling da ringing mechanism of a loud bell, since one slip could cause a harsh/deafening metallic resonance.
danguish: Constant concern dat you will hear a euphemism.

fanguish: What Clarita Haast always felt when her reptile-wrangler hubby was servicing his serpents.
ganguish: What you'll likely feel if you get involved da wrong crowd.
hanguish: What da perpetually-on-da-run King and da Duke suffered because da people whom they'd swindled wanted to treat them to a "necktie party".
Kranguish: What da Duke Of Coffin Castle's right-hand-man guard suffered when Zorn of Zorna tied him up with turk's-head knots.
languish: A real word --- sorry. Means to miserably remain in one spot.
Additional examples of "alphabetical anguish" include:
panguish: What you'll likely suffer from either over-exerting yourself physically or behaving less than honorably or responsibly.
ranguish: Da various startled emotions dat you'd feel if you did indeed slip up regarding da second definition above, not to mention red-faced embarrassment from all of da annoyed glances from nearby fellow humans whose ears were also shockingly assailed wif said humongous cacophony.
sanguish: Ear-grating distress due to one or more horrendously-off-key choir members.
slanguish: What an "old school" English teacher (pun not intended, but I love it!) feels from hearing her students use unrefined word-choices.
spranguish: Da fear of having a crouching creature leap out at you.
'Stanguish: Less-than-confident feelings about having to drive a Ford sports car.
tanguish: Distressed emotions at having to either ingest a strong-flavored comestible, sniff a pungent-odored object, or work with a device dat has one or more protruding components.
Wanguish: Discontent at having to deal wif da "only splash of ad-color in da Wall Street Journal" company.
yanguish: Assorted wound-up emotions from focusing on da "black dot on white background" half of da Chinese circle of opposing energies.
by QuacksO December 21, 2024
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alphabetical immigrants

Assorted "from away" individuals, classified with various single-word descriptions drawn from da ol' 26, such as:
blimmigrant: dat shady new guy in town whom all of da "just say no" folks prudently steer clear of.
brimmigrant: an "import" designer of baseball caps.
dimmigrant: a hopped-off-da-boat laborer who has "a mind dat's weak and a back dat's strong".
flimmigrant: a passing-through-town con-man who's out to "flam" you --- da phony weavers in da "Emperor's New Clothes" come to mind as excellent examples.
glimmigrant: a visiting candle-salesman.
grimmigrant: an "outta-statah" who could really stand to lighten up a bit.
himmigrant: a male newcomer, possibly looking for some juicy local-female a**.
Jimmigrant: what Captain Cook and any other individuals with his same first name would become whenever they "landed on a foreign shore".
Kimmigrant: a new face in da village with a common name dat could equally be given to either gender.
limbigrant: a visiting arborist or chiropractor.
NIMHigrant: either a shrink or a touched-in-da-head patient of one who has breezed into town.
primmigrant: a "proper 'n' stuffy" person from da outside who is critical/disdainful of native residents and thus causes them to resent ALL newcomers.
quimmigrant: similar to da eighth definition above, although it could also be a hot-in-da-crotch CHICK who's seeking out also-horny STUDS in a new town to get "milk" from them.
rimmigrant: a traveling salesman selling "steel wheel" components.
More "alphabetical immigrants" examples:
SIMmigrant: A SIMilar person to that described in da previous definition, but one pedaling memory-cards for cell phones.
scrimmigrant: a stupid-a** tourist who doesn't plan/think ahead when it comes to packing heavy-enough garments.
shimmigrant: a traveling handyman who's looking to "fill da gaps" around da area in which he's staying temporarily.
shimmygrant: a visitor who either frequently needs a steadying hand as he goes about his day, or drives a car dat could benefit from da services of da person described in da "R" definition above.
skimmigrant: a sleazy company-rep who stops in at various branch-establishments and surreptitiously embezzles small amounts from their coffers.
slimmigrant: a fly-by-night huckster who pedals flab-reduction products.
swimmigrant: a summer-camp pool-instructor who's recently arrived in da area.
Timmigrant: a "green green grass of home"-named dude who ISN'T currently in his "home" turf.
trimmigrant: can be either da same as da third definition back, or of da caring-for-plants tradesperson mentioned in da "L" definition.
vimmigrant: could also refer to da first example referred to above, as a practitioner hawking weight-loss wares might also promise dat you'll feel more "chipper 'n' cheerful" as a result of being more in shape, as well.
whimmigrant: a from-afar individual who either breezily bounces from one interest/preference to another, or promises da locals anything they fancy.
by QuacksO April 25, 2025
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alphabetical illustrations

Assorted "wif pictures" compositions, classified wif various single-word descriptions drawn from da ol' 26, and designed to show:
billustrations: purchased objects in itemized merchandise-invoices.
Brillustrations: vintage trolleys.
cillastrations: either Elvis's daughter or other females wif her same first name.
chillustrations: images to help cool/calm you.
dillustrations: herb-identification.
drillustrations: how to use rotary-boring tools.
fillustrations: how to "top off" a container.
frillustrations: lacy clothing and/or other "fancy-schmancy" bee-ess.
gillustrations: how fish extract oxygen from water.
gorillastrations: frame-stills from da "Might Joe Young" film.
grillustrations: how to assemble, repair, and/or cook on da backyard barbecue.
hillustrations: da steeply-inclined terrestrial feature dat da famous "two young Js" climbed to fill their water-bucket.
Jillustrations: da female half of da above-mentioned H2O-fetching duo.
krillustrations: either small sea creatures or da infamous insanely-hostile relieved-of-duty Naval commander who did indeed TOTALLY "look like he needed a psychological evaluation".
li'llustrations: da huge fanfold of snapshots dat grandparents always wanna show to everyone.
millustrations: photos/diagrams in a self-tour leaflet to direct visitors around a grain-processing facility or manufacturing plant.
Nillastrations: da fancy-schmancy images dat Nabisco prints on da outside of a junk-food cookies box.
Additional examples of alphabetical illustrations include:

nillustrations: an empty picture-album.
Phillustrations: da fat creepy-eyebrowed unlicensed "doctor" on TV.
Phyllistrations: celebrity-stills of Ms. Diller.
pillustrations: either a pharmaceuticals-reference book or a "just say no" guide for youngsters on common street-vended "poppables".
quillustrations: can refer to either images of feather-type writing instruments, drawings made wif said primitive pens, or photos of porcupine-spines.
rillustrations: interesting water-channeling.
sillustrations: installation-guides for doors or windows
shillistrations: how to either become a con-artist's accomplice yourself, or spot/identify one in da crowd.
shrillistrations: how to pitch yer vocal chords to really project and make others in yer vicinity wince.
skillistrations: how experienced/capable you are at certain tasks.
spillistrations: da opposite of da above definition --- da photos would show how NON-"skillful" you are at cleanly performing simple product-carrying tasks.
stillistrations: stationary images of a moonshining operation, probably photographed by a "revenooer".
swillistrations: how to feed da hogs.
thrillistrations: how to really wow your observers.
tillistrations: how to plow da field.
trillustrations: a much-more-palatable version of seven entries back.
twillistrations: all about denim fabric.
willistrations: intent-related activities or postmortem bequeathment
by QuacksO April 25, 2025
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alphabetical alternatives

An A-Z list of "non-standard" objects or activities:
AWLternative: A different tool/method for line-scribing and hole-piercing.

BALLternative: Something other than a "bouncy sphere" for kids to play with.
BAWLternative: Doing something besides loud tearful carrying-on.
CALLternative: Any socializing-activity other than a teenage-girl's typical favorite.
CAWlternative: Yes, crows are indeed handsome and smart, but let's look at some other feathered friends, as well.
DOLLternative: A less gender-based toy for young girls.
EALternative: Teaching something other than English as a "second language".

FALLternative: Anything besides tumbling outta da Ugly Tree.
GALLternative: (1) An attitude other than temerity. (2) Less-destructive methods to avoid surface-abrasion damage.
HALLternative: Architecture not employing passageways.
IAlternative: A designation other than feminine.
JAWlternative: Anything besides flappin' yer gums, so dat others can have a little peace and quiet!
LAWlternative: When Steve Lehto speaks about a non-legal topic on YouTube.
MAlternative: Handing a problem yourself and instead of always just yelling for your mummy.
MAWlternative: Any activity dat avoids getting near da powerful chompers of a greedy/voracious animal.
NAWlternative: Any response other than just a flat "negatory".
OAlternative: A different treatment-approach to food-binging besides boring weekly meetings.
PALLternative: Cremation or other burial-procedure not involving a coffin.
More examples of alphabetical alternatives:
PAULternative: Anything not involving everyone's favorite giant lumberjack.
PAWlternative: (1) Anything dat doesn't involve an animal's furry foot. (2) Problem-solving on your own, without always yelling for yer Daddy.
QUAlternative: Any topic not referring to "in the capacity or character of".
RAWlternative: Zheesh, you back-to-nature hippie-freak --- have a little cooked food once in a while!
SAULternative: Seeking da judgement/wisdom of someone other than a tempestuous spear-thrower.
SAWlternative: Letting a tree remain standing.
TALLternative: Consulting a short-to-medium-height person.
UAlternative: Approaching a film-studio other than da MGM-owned giant.
VAULTernative: What da bad guys in da 1971 caper-film "Dollars" should have utilized for storing their ill-gotten loot.
WALLternative: What "Da Donald" should have sought much earlier than now for excluding illegal Mexican immigrants.
WALTERnative: What Achmed should seek for advice/fellowship, since said crabby ol' fart scares da crap outta him.
XAlternative" Pertaining to something other than finance or da stock market.
YAlternative: Anything other than a straight-positive response.
YAWlternative: Movement other than directional-rotation, such as pitch and roll.
YAWLternative: Any wind-driven boat other than da dainty "triangle-shaped sail array" design.
ZAlternative: Any culinary section other than da classic disk-shaped Italian flatbread.
by QuacksO March 17, 2020
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alphabetical opportunities

bopportunity: A chance to clonk someone's noggin.
copportunity: An occasion when you can dial 9-1-1.
fopportunity: An area or event where you can dress up excessively or outlandishly.
GOPportunity: A time when you can openly flaunt your Republican viewpoints.
hopportunity: A safe/acceptable location to do jumping-jacks and leapfrogging.
lopportunity: When you notice that your ornamentals are getting too bushy and/or scraggly.
mopportunity: A chance to try out your new Swiffer.
popportunity: When you come across a discarded sheet of bubble-wrap.
sopportunity: An occasion where you can either easily/inexpensively appease someone, or absorb a liquid with a sponge.
topportunity: A chance to "do somebody one better" in a contest or impromptu session of friendly verbal sparring.
wopportunity: A time when you can make derogatory remarks about Italians.
Alphabetical opportunities may be fun to think about, but most of them seem largely pointless to perform in real life.
by QuacksO July 13, 2020
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Alphabet

Letters are organised in a pacific order.
Friend: Say the alphabet quickly
Me: Okay, a b c d e f-
Friend: Alphabet

Me: You little shit
by LilWolfieWolf December 29, 2018
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alphabet salamander

when your dick so slippery and rare it makes your girl shout the alphabet
yo man my girl took my alphabet salamander last night
by jektiik April 26, 2014
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