Wank Camel

When you go a long time without having a flog just like a camel would go without water.

Person 1: "I haven't masturbated in ages."

Person 2: "Whoa dude, you're such a Wank Camel."

by TeddyBazz December 9, 2015

Quantum Wank

n. Masterbating whilst mentally reliving past sexual failures and "Trying to put right what once went wrong."

I totally blew it with the hot chick with the big jugs last night. She walked away 'to talk to her friends' and I knew she wasn't coming back. I ended having a Quantum Wank over her when I got home so my balls didn't explode. Those puppies weren't hard to forget!

by Lucky Bastard MK1 May 5, 2010

Wank Palace

A guy's room that is rigged up with every tech boy toy there is

Yeah, that's his computer cave, or as he calls it, his wank palace.

by tomwrong January 15, 2011

preparatory wank

Jacking off before you get with your woman, so that you'll last longer before cumming.

I like to get in a preparatory wank before I pound my wife into the mattress, but I have to be careful or I won't be able to cum, just pump her dry pussy for an hour before giving up.

by Strokher Ace November 27, 2013

Disaster Wank

A wank that takes your mind off a disaster that has just occured, allowing you to have a clear mind to think of a solution.

1) I rolled my car last night. Hit two pedestrians and a dog.
2) Bloody hell, what did you do?!
1) I had a quick Disaster Wank then set about destroying the evidence before running off into the woods.

by Harold Bishop's Love Child March 2, 2010

romantic wank

A wank with some romance

Shaun liked nothing better than a Romantic Wank after a long day at the office. Put on some Barry White run a hot bath light some candles and charm the snake while getting freaky like Grace Jones until bed time.

by PoOpa FoOker March 23, 2016

noble wank

To remain stoic and in touch with your spiritual side while engaging in the act of masturbation. It could also be to masturbate with a higher purpose in mind than merely the pursuit of bodily pleasures.

Father: son, did i just catch you tugging your meat soldier?

son: yes dad, but dont worry, it was a noble wank.

Father: Well that's ok then son, you have maintained your dignity. I'll speak with your mother and see if we cant raise your allowance a bit.

son: thank you father.

by Dasten June 2, 2014