Bureaucratic Masturbation

noun - 1. Engaging in any activity for the sake of making one feel better about themselves, their organization, or their company without actually accomplishing anything. 2. Holding meetings to provide recommendations only to have management do what they wanted in the first place. 3. Holding special work group meetings to make the 'little people' feel ownership, when the decision has already been made by higher levels of management.

My boss has picked me to suffer through more Bureaucratic Masturbation, representing the department on a policy work group.
I spent the last 3 months researching the best candidate for the position and the Boss picked his pet employee anyway. God I hat Bureaucratic Masturbation!

by Bill Koogler January 17, 2008

Masturbation guilt

The sense of guilt you feel post-masturbation when you realized what you have just jerked yourself off to.

"Oh God, what have I done? I did not just masturbate to bestiality.. talk about masturbation guilt.

by GunaDK January 19, 2012

Public Masturbation

The reason I am no longer allowed on public transportation.

I definitely should not have participated in Public masturbation on that subway.

by thepseudonymousbosch February 21, 2017

Masturbation Marathon

An exceptionally long episode of masturbation fits. These episodes are usually brought on by sexual deprivation and bordom; however, and I'm not making this up, they have been used a means of fundraising for sexual related causes such as safe sex. A masturbation marathon is a strenuous event that requires disciplined training and preparation. There are several related subcatagories such as time, ejaculation distance, and most orgasms for both male and female competitors (I'm totally serious - google it).

Hillary's return brought an end to Bill's 72 hour masturbation marathon.

by Face_Bones August 29, 2013

chronic masturbator

A person who masturbates more than 3 times a day, and cannot go a day with out masturbation.

Friend: Bro! did you hear that Johnny filled up a 2 little jar with cum.
you: ya I heard he is a chronic masturbator 1

by MexicanPog November 16, 2020

Masturbation hibernation

To take a break, "hibernate", from the act of pleasuring one's self.

John's dick was getting so burned and chafed from all the wanking that he had to take a masturbation hibernation.

by Darkhg November 28, 2009

furiously masturbating

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009