The Turning Burger is a lesser known (yet undeniably effective) strategy for consuming burgers, sandwiches, and any other foods with the same basic property of multiple ingredients being loosely held together.
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
The leading heuristic for eating burgers in modern times involves approaching it from one side, and one side only. While this does grant the benefit of allowing one to "eat lazily", this crude and outdated procedure suffers from one major downfall.
Of course, this would be 'meat shift'. According to Urban Dictionary, 'meat shift' is defined as:
"a phenomenon that occurs when eating a hamburger or sandwich exclusively from one side so the meat and other ingredients shift, causing the last couple bites to have an unproportional mixture of ingredients"
Recently, a breakthrough was made and an algorithm, The Turning Burger, has been proved to be optimal for burger consumption. The strategy involves 'turning' the burger slightly after each and every bite. This causes the ingredients to constantly shift towards the center, setting up the optimal last bite, packed full of all the ingredients the burger or sandwich has to offer.
Notes:
- theta, the amount one must 'turn' the burger varies depending on the amount of force the individual applies with each bite as well as the slipperiness of the ingredients at hand
Person 1: Oh no! My last bite from this burger is all bread!
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
Person 2: You haven't heard of The Turning Burger? My last bite includes all the ingredients you've always dreamed of!
Person 1: =(
by ChickenChomper November 6, 2012
Get the The Turning Burgermug. 
by sarkaztic November 25, 2014
Get the Clam burgermug. A delicious burger. No need to put salt or cheese, because the semen is so good it substitutes for both. Once you eat a Cum Burger you will never want to eat food again. Just semen.
"Hey, (friend) ever eat a Cum Burger?"
Friend: "Yea, I ate one last night. Instead of using sauce, I used sepsis mixed with Cum and shit to make bootyhole potions. My Cum Burger tasted so good, I am going on a 100% Cum only diet!"
Friend: "Yea, I ate one last night. Instead of using sauce, I used sepsis mixed with Cum and shit to make bootyhole potions. My Cum Burger tasted so good, I am going on a 100% Cum only diet!"
by fortniteburgerexe April 28, 2022
Get the Cum Burgermug. by slick slappy January 12, 2015
Get the Colon burgermug. This is the sexual act of taking a man's jizz and putting It on an unsuspecting persons cheese burger and having them eat it and telling them it's mayonnaise
by Luciepoo March 12, 2022
Get the Cum burgermug. by oh.. hi December 16, 2018
Get the Chicken burgersmug.