Fat Wanker

1. An insult.

2. A description of someone who is both fat *and* and a wanker.

3. A very annoying fat boss.

My boss is a big fat wanker

by Blubber Hater December 1, 2003

wankers remorse

occurs after one has beaten off or 'masturbated'. Its the feeling of strong regret and longing to take back what you have just done. You feel dirty and cheap, also sort of like an animal.feeling is stronger after every wank that day, your body resets after midnight. It soon passes and you return to your normal sex hungary self. It plays no part in deciding wheather to wank or not as this horrible feeling is no match for cumming.

*At Toms house. Tom leaves the room for 1-2 minutes*

tom: you alright daz?
dario: *weeping* no of course not, why do i do it? i feel so dirty!
tom: what? why?
dario: im no better than an animal!
tom: huh, i don't get-- what the fuck is that on my carpet?
dario: sorry mate wankers remorse
tom: its on the fucking t.v as well, you prick
dario: im so sorry
tom: *looking pissed* its fair enough. i once phoned samaritans after a double holiday handshake

by dazzz December 20, 2006

bunch of wankers

1) A derogatory term for a group of people.
2) A group of masturbators.

"Cardio obviously got too carried away with his definition of bunch of wankers."

by Soiled Undergarment August 19, 2003

cyber wanker

someone who loves to have sex on cam on the internet

Jeremy is a cyber wanker, he cant keep it in his pants, when his cam is on

by Brian Peterman July 10, 2003

Wanker's Cramp

Noun

A painful stiffening of the muscles of the hand, characteristically caused by excessive amounts of masturbation.

Wanker's Cramp is likely the most pathetic accidental self-inflicted injury of all time, being just slightly above paper cuts from toilet paper, balsa wood splinters, and pressing the button on Bop It too vigorously.

Jim hasn't left the house for almost 5 days. It's only a manner of time before he gets Wanker's Cramp.

by IQuarent July 22, 2014

chair wanker

Typically found in groups, people who go to music festivals and set up near the stage with deckchairs, inflatable sofas or picnic blankets and expect everyone to leave a big gap around them. Often can be found not even using aforementioned items.

"Hey did you enjoy the Isle of Wight Festival?"
"Sure, but there was chair wankers everywhere!"

by Wighteggy June 12, 2019

Mooch Wanker

For those Indian and Pakistani individuals with the exact same haircut (short back & sides with a quiff) who drive around in their fathers BMW and say either "bro" or "innit" after every sentence.

They also go to Mooch on Broad St every Friday night with money they borrowed from their grandparents.

"Look at that mooch wanker haircut."

by KingOfEverythingAskWiz April 14, 2016