Absolution

Absolution: When you giving it to your wife from behind but you suddenly have the urge to take a big shit and your son comes right on time to swap you and you keep hearing your wife's moans as you lay down the biggest turd of the history of turds

Man 1 : I am so happy I have a family now, used absolution yesterday. Great way to bond more with your son
Man 2: I know its those small things that matter.

by geoxd657 April 13, 2018

Absolute Gimp

Used by someone who listens to underground music against someone who has a poor taste in music, and is overly annoying on social media.

e.g. Dave - 'Did you see what he posted on facebook about loving Martin Garrix and not underground music'
Ross - 'Yeah what an absolute gimp mate'

by discobiscuit21 June 22, 2017

Absolute Spank

When you want to call someone a douchebag, but it's not harsh enough.

"Man, that guy Brandon is an absolute spank!"

by nonicknam3 November 25, 2017

absolutely louis walshed

When you fall over spectacularly.

"I absolutely louis walshed myself off my bike on the way to school today".

by :S:S:S:S:S: May 21, 2016

Absolute boy™️

A guy that is so hot you can't deal. Like, so handsome he is the pinnacle of beauty.

Girl 1:"Have you seen how hot Toshiro Mifune was in Snow Trail?"
Girl 2:"OMG yaas, he's an Absolute boy™️"

by Ginnag98 February 4, 2018

absolute koon

A crazy black man

Tyrone: YAH BRO, JUST HIT THE JAX OFF A GIRLS THIGH!
Zach: You're an absolute koon!

by zacthemac October 31, 2019

absolute monkey

A braindead or an absolute illiterate.

This kid is an absolute monkey.

by Tc_goldie December 2, 2020