Log Twoddling

doing absolutely nothing, but meant to sound as if your doing something dirty

screw this, lets go log twoddling

by Dani.Coast June 5, 2010

Hot Log

An unusually long turd that makes its way out of your asshole at an unusually hot temperature.

*toilet water splashes*
You: Wow, that one was a hot log!

by Vultrex480 December 21, 2022

murder log

Alligator

"Watch out for that murder log, lady!"

by _wiener June 2, 2020

log and a wink

The act of taking a shit when a log hits the cold water and immediately splashes back up at your asshole creating a "wink". Probably one of the worst things ever...

Abacus: hey BJ ill be right back ima go take a shit
BJ: cool have fun
Abacus: AHHHH!
BJ: what happened? are you ok?
Abacus: ya, just a log and a wink
BJ: oh understandable

by OBIE9 January 26, 2012

flogging the log

Masturbation.

That girl I saw was so hot I that as soon as I got home I was "flogging the log".

by Baldrick1979 July 31, 2012

gay log

The act of taking a poop that is wide enough and firm enough to stimulate an erection as it comes out.

Person 1- "Dude, I dropped a gay log in your toilet."

Person 2- "WTF"

by concorde77 May 19, 2017

log-crawler

A fart that smells so bad that it must have crawled over a log (turd) in your intestine to get out.

You might want to get out of here and take the kids with you because I just released a log-crawler.

by JoshinLVNY June 3, 2018