douche satchel

A douche mop who continues to be a low level pain in the ass.

kitters53: lol bad call
NoahRC: I liked my odds but I know what you mean
kitters53: because you don't know how to play
NoahRC: you are a complete douche satchel

by NoahRC February 29, 2008

Douche Bagel

An egocentric goof that aspires to be a f*ckboy. A person that spends the day rummaging through garbage and fishing in a mud puddle by side of barn. Lives in board shorts and always has a bong in hand. This persons vocabulary is capped at 200 words. Like moldy cream cheese on a burnt bagel, this persons cocky jokes are unappetizing and stale.

(May or may not shower weekly)

This Douche bagel keeps repeating "Yo, Gintel you there?", it is not funny.

by Sweet Banana June 3, 2023

douche nip

(noun). A piquantly prosodic way to refer to a friend who is acting like a moron. Warning don't use this term in a real battle of urban-dictionary prowess given the self-humbling nature of using the prefix douche with the sharp suffix nip. As in there are many more blunt sounding and effective terms such as douche cock, douche cunt, douche fucker...

Me: "John you're a real douche nip"

John: "Wow I'm really not all that offended. You sure are a puss bitch"

by Millkz Plz April 27, 2011

douche bag

A douche bag is a variant of your standard asshole in that he is an asshole, but there is something that you actually envy about him or his lifestyle.

You get cut off by an asshole in a Hummer and notice his smoking hot trophy wife. This moves him form asshole to douche bag.

by turbododge April 11, 2010

Douche Canoe

A person that on regular basis acts in a non polite away, typically a man, trying to repeatedly (just like you are paddling a canoe down the river) hurt you, usually doing or saying things out of spite, or spreading rumors that are not even accurate.

Hameed is such a douche canoe. Every week something new!

by JasonC123 August 14, 2021

Douche Nozzle

The appendage portion of a liquid feminine hygene product. Often used as a derogatory term for utterly useless persons

Mz. Thugz is a douche nozzle.

by The stoutness September 28, 2008

Blue Douche

1: the sound you hear when you drop a turd into a porta potty.

2: what you get when the the turd hits the blue porta potty water and the resulting splash hits your asshole.

I dropped a turd in the porta potty and it sounded like "BLUE DOUCHE!!!" Then I literally got a blue douche.

by badjokeKirby February 15, 2021