Shit mittens

The improvised action of cutting out the lining or fabric from one’s pants pocket to repurpose it as an emergency substitute for toilet paper when no conventional options are available, often in desperate or remote situations. This makeshift solution provides a quick, albeit unconventional, means of personal hygiene, though it may result in compromised clothing integrity.

In the heat of a top-secret op behind enemy lines, Private Murphy, facing a dire “logistical crisis” with no TP in sight, stealthily converted his camo pants into shit mittens—proving once again that soldiers improvise, adapt, and overcome… even if it means walking funny for the rest of the mission.

by VoodooJack November 16, 2025

wet mitten

When someone's boring and makes no impression they're a real wet mitten.

Wow, that guy is a wet mitten alright.

by MrsMittens January 30, 2017

Dick mittens

Someone who has hands that are made for jerking guys off

Someone tell Denny dick mittens if he’s gonna jerk that guy off to do it in the other room please

by Dizzle6303 March 11, 2023

red mitten

when you fist someone do hard they bleed or, when you fist someone on their period😝

John: I had gay sex last night and walked out w a red mitten.
Jordan: ik, I was there.

ORRRR

Jessica: she said she was on her period and I said “I don’t mind a little red mitten”

brooke: WE ARE IN SCHOOL. A PUBLIC SETTING. YOU NEED TO STOP.

by GAYYYYYY69 April 20, 2022

pink mittens

Inserting both hands into the vaginas of two women at once, so they act like mittens for your fists. Similar to double-fisting.

Wow... those two sisters were total sluts! I even got to get myself a pair of pink mittens last night!

by danconia May 4, 2011

mittenized

Just had mind blowen orgasmic sex with a sexy guy named mittens

She got mittenized last night

by mittens17 December 2, 2014

fiddle mittens

fiddle mittens best describes a tweaker stuck on a prodge chasing their tail. just fiddled out.

"look at fiddle mittens? you done trying to fix that stereo? "

"hey fiddle mittens you got enough tape on that bong you've been makin'?"

Hey fiddle mittens where'd you put the duck tape?"

by jellybeanlove420 November 25, 2017