lanced it

When you screw up anything, or make an uneducated comment on a topic or just general conversation.

You lanced it pretty good. Stop lancing it.

by White suburban November 25, 2014

Lance

The Lance I know is a relatively good guy. He knows how to make you laugh and you can normally tell if he likes someone. He has downsides; he can be very mean for seemingly no reason, he’s not a very good boyfriend, and he’s very inappropriate. He’s kind of self centered sometimes, but if he likes you he will try his best to make you feel good about yourself. He is obsessed with video games, particulate Fortnite, but that’s to be expected. He’s a jock and is very athletic, but is very arrogant. He gets outshined by his best friends sometimes and so if you ever find yourself in a relationship with him, just be there for him. He’ll return the favor. Don’t do him wrong, though. You will deeply regret it for the rest of your days and you will miss the relationship, friend or more, that you had. Forever. Hold on to him and don’t let go, no matter how conceited or rude he gets. At the end of the day, his heart is in the right place. He has feelings too, as much he tries to show otherwise.

You like Lance?! Why?

I played Fortnite last night with Lance.
He beat me.

Lance just roasted me.

by Crazy_walrus April 27, 2019

German Lantern

The very arduous task of lubercating ones balls and slipping them into a females anus and having intercourse at the same time.

My girl friend likes it when I get freaky with her, she gets extra horney when I execute the German Lantern.

by Purple DogShit June 15, 2009

Jack-o-Lantern

A jack-o-lantern that features Jack Bauer's face

"Hey, look at that Jack-o-Lantern!"

by America Lover 🇺🇸 November 20, 2018

Sir Lancetwat

A lame name to use when a girl you're trying to pick up asks your name. Most often results in rejection.

Girl: "Hey you're cute... what's your name?"
Guy: "Sir Lancetwat."
*SMACK*

by W. E. Toddit July 9, 2004

The devil's lance

When a male decides to give a particular lady very happy. He first gets an erection, but then things get really crazy. He takes a hot liquid, ex. hot coffee, and pours it onto his fully erect member. The coffee causes the penis to swell to gargantuan size and turn red, thus appearing as the penis of the devil himself. The female should almost instantly want to fuck her man because it is quite a sacrifice on his part, as it is quite painful. The proceed to have sexual intercourse, and the lady is particularly pleased.

Topher wanted to give his girlfriend a treat for her birthday, so he made a pot of coffee and performed the devil's lance.

by Topher4life November 9, 2009

Lance Armstrong

A great but overrated cyclist. Seven Time winner of the Tour De France. Often called the greatest cyclist ever by passive American cycling fans that have never heard of Eddy Merckx, Bernard Hinault, Fausto Coppi or Miguel Indurain. Merckx and many others went on to race in hundreds of races while Armstrong focused on the Tour. His only other races were often training for the Tour at Tour de Georgia or Dauphiné Libéré. Merckx raced every race to win. Lance often was just training for the tour and along with his contemporaries would not take the risk seen in the Coppi-Merckx Era.

LA Fan: Lance Armstrong is the greatest cyclist ever!

Reality: No way dude. Eddy Merckx or Coppi.

LA fan. Who? you're crazy!

Facts: Merckx! Cycling was around before 1999. Merckx won 525 races and won the Giro D' Italia and Tour de France five times. Lance only talked about racing the Giro. Never even showed and has never ridden in most of the Classics like Paris-Roubaix which Merckx won three times. Also never attempted the Hour Record as he hinted on for years. A record for which Merckx is the standard.

LA fan: But Lance won the Tour De Georgia.

Reality: Dumbass!

by Paris-Roubaix January 27, 2008