Jesus

Jesus, a man, who was really alive despite popular belief, you know he was as much alive as you are today it is a historical fact. He was also nailed to a cross which is also a historical fact and Christian's believe to be the personal Lord and Saviour of the world.
Jesus, please come into my heart. Are you there? Over? Can you knock three times on my pancreas if you made it in? Over?
by Emily Lawson May 03, 2008
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Jesus

A schizophrenic person who lived a long time ago with followers who were also schizophrenic
"I am Jesus the Son of God!"
by Tech dude March 17, 2010
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Jesus

Some dude who was born into a crappy family and his mother is somehow a virgin, some hippy probably jacked off and shot into her vag.Got killed and came back as a zombie. If he was alive today he would kill himself after seeing the cult his fictional novel "The Bible" spawned. Pretty cool guy despite the fact he tried to take away violence and wanted every one to be "nice" and that there really is no proof of his existance. He is now completely dead. See fake, phony, bastard
Guy 1: Yo, you know that Jesus dude?
Guy 2: Yea, isnt he in Star Wars?
Guy 1: Dunno, Something fictional like that.

Me: I HATE HIPPIES!!!

Some Skater Hippy Christian who is a MAJOR Gromit:Jezuz iz meh hmeboi lawlz.
Normal Person: Shut up fag. Jesus is Mexican.

by Eww hippies April 29, 2008
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jesus

someone who can't drive
by Yabity October 23, 2010
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Jesus

That Jesus is one nice guy!
by Kyle Michael Jones!!! December 07, 2009
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jesus

a made up person persecuted by the jews and used as the reason to justify every wrong thing in this world. kill other cultures, rape, take over countries, kill and the likes. oh lol and who could forget control the poor and uneducated.
jesus, these jesus freaks just don't get it do they? he never existed!
by billy gnosis April 14, 2008
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Jesus

Jesus supposedly died and came back to life three days later.

What a zombie.
by grrgirl December 29, 2009
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