A Tale of Two Vacuums

A lesser-known Dickens novel about da pair of infamous "Hoovers" in American-government history who notoriously ended up causing more harm than good during their reigns.
Between da indolent Herbert's causing da Great Depression during his presidency, and da recklessly-prejudiced and hatred-filled J. Edgar's founding da FBI which killed da likes of da Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King, da true-story-based book, "A Tale of Two Vacuums" is a wild and sordid narrative indeed!
by QuacksO October 28, 2023
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Astro vacuum

In space, a creampie would technically not drip out like on earth. The partner would have to suck the nut out of her vagina, hence the astro vacuum.
Yeah man no gravity so I had to astro vacuum her, shit was whack.
by Teachmehowtodougie December 30, 2018
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skin vacuum

Did you give Johnny a skin vacuum in the parking lot before school?
by Emeralda rain February 03, 2018
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Vacuum Jousting

The competive sport of vacuuming. Vacuum Jousiting is a sport in the Midwest.
Yo bro, are you going to the vacuum jousting tournament next Friday? I heard Shoot, Van Barber will be there. He’s the Vacuum champion
by B PUN August 31, 2018
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Bloody Vacuum

A (hetero)sexual act in which the girl will be on her menstrual cycle, and when she rides her partner and bleeds on them, she will get off, then proceed to give them a blowjob
"...he asked me to give him a bloody Vacuum when I told him I was on my period. I think I'm going to break it off."
by AIDSDABASSGUITAR May 19, 2022
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Jalapeño Vacuum

Having your girl place 5 Jalapeños in her mouth. She begins chewing them and then gives you head.
Dan: Well we had Mexican last night and it also happened to be sex night.
Jim: And????
Dan: Well I thought we should try something new and she gave me this thing called a Jalapeño vacuum
by Mr.Diddler March 12, 2019
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Phoenix vacuum

The act of going down on on a mans testicals, witch are coverd in shit and sucking the shit so hard that it comes out the other persons ass.
He just got Phoenix vacuum'ed
by MightyLump September 15, 2010
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