Jon's ride

A foolish person, dumbass

"He's so dumb he set his alarm to silent, he must be Jon's ride"

by MG.2.9. April 10, 2019

Jon's Kiss

When someone who suffers from hemorrhoid inflammation pulls down their pants and gently presses their hemorrhoids onto a person's cheek

Bro 1 "A sprig of rosemary adds great flavor, it's called a chefs kiss."

Bro 2 "If you keep telling me useless cooking information ima give you a Jon's kiss.*

by IGotDaBullets August 8, 2023

hot jon

When you stick a curling iron up someone's ass and turn it on. It's often used as a threat.

"Shut up before I give you a hot jon."

by the MN Realest April 16, 2015

Jon Cryer

When you take a shit and you look at it and you feel sorry for it.

Oh my god, Jon Cryer just came out of my ass.

by AdolfHitler69 February 17, 2015

the jon voight

The act of getting in a fight with your girlfriend and when she wants make-up sex, you deny her by keeping the status quo.

Ben: Dude, Chase and I got in a huge fucken fight and i totally gave her the jon voight. She was pissed.

by Mike Carini March 1, 2009

Jon's Turtle

Jon's everything. Mom, dad, sister, dog, best friend, EVERYTHING. Not to be confused with Jon's tortoise

Person: "Hey Jon, how's your Jon's turtle"
Jon: "o_o"

by Aly and Vyacheslav October 29, 2012

Jon Blough

A Jon Blough is based off of the original "BLOUGH", the act of fluffing up a penis to 45% erect and then slapping someone on the face while they are unconscious. A Jon Blough on the otherhand is the act of taking a shit on the unconscious person's face followed by a massage using a 79.147% erect penis to spread around the "chocolate".

Because my boyfriend gave me a Jon Blough, i completely fucked him up......

by 79.123erect July 22, 2009