Pretzel-n.- A woman or man that is small in stature and overall body mass, with the naturally reoccurring gymnastic like flexibility to pick right up off the ground and condense into a maliable dough, during intercourse and hammer down. Usually lifted at as extreme as 180° bends by the 'pretzels' knee joints. Followed by wrapping their arms around their own legs. This allows for maximum hammer time.
Ex. Person 1: Hi, so nice to meet you. I absolutely love pretzels
Person 2: (in absolute speechless confusion) great?
Person 1: Pretzel fuck. A pretzel. You're a Pretzel.
Person 2: Jesus Christ.
Ex. Person 1: Hi, so nice to meet you. I absolutely love pretzels
Person 2: (in absolute speechless confusion) great?
Person 1: Pretzel fuck. A pretzel. You're a Pretzel.
Person 2: Jesus Christ.
Person 1: hey you're a pretzel
Person 2: I'm sorry I'm a what?
Person 1: I'd Pretzel fuck the shit out of you.
Person 2: my God you need Jesus.
Person 2: I'm sorry I'm a what?
Person 1: I'd Pretzel fuck the shit out of you.
Person 2: my God you need Jesus.
by Travey James January 6, 2020

A twisted, convoluted argument that sounds reasonable on the surface but makes absolutely no sense when examined closely. Often used by manipulative people to avoid accountability or dismiss someone else's valid feelings.
Etymology: Derived from the way actual pretzels are twisted into impossible shapes - much like how some people twist basic logic until it's completely unrecognizable.
Common characteristics:
Uses fancy words to sound smart
Contains circular reasoning
Makes the listener question their own sanity
Usually delivered with complete confidence
Falls apart immediately under scrutiny
Etymology: Derived from the way actual pretzels are twisted into impossible shapes - much like how some people twist basic logic until it's completely unrecognizable.
Common characteristics:
Uses fancy words to sound smart
Contains circular reasoning
Makes the listener question their own sanity
Usually delivered with complete confidence
Falls apart immediately under scrutiny
"My ex gave me a total logic pretzel when he said he couldn't validate my feelings because they contradicted his feelings. Like, sir, that's not how emotions work."
Example in a sentence: "Don't let him feed you that logic pretzel - two people can have different opinions about the same event and both be valid!"
Example in a sentence: "Don't let him feed you that logic pretzel - two people can have different opinions about the same event and both be valid!"
by PixelbrushProductions June 3, 2025

A unit of time. There are three years in a pretzel year. This is because there are three holes in every pretzel
by Cragnon March 7, 2024

A sex position for professionals.
Here’s how the Pretzel Dip move went: I lay on my right side, and he kneeled down, straddling my right leg. I wrapped my left leg around his torso and thrusted and grinded, and we used our hands to please each other further. We kept eye contact the whole time, dirty talking while tangled up together. Orgasming was easy, and every part of my body felt pleasure.
by Kachinonai April 27, 2024

The crusty Kimberly dust that is found firmly impregnated in the salty nose residue that is blown out onto a Gibb River Road tissue.
"This Gibb River Pretzel is slightly different in both taste and texture to the Nullabor oysters that I'm used to!"
by Haniel Docking June 19, 2021

by Goosetavo July 2, 2016

Same as a blue waffle. Just the male version. When you have been having sex to the point where it looks all twisted and swollen like a "blue waffle:"
by Bobby J Orignal September 10, 2014
