thats not my child

Not the parent of an infant/infants

Baby, I went to the doctor and they said I'm pregnant!

What? thats not my child.. I never had sex with you.

by peace be still November 13, 2017

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Thats not what she said

Opposite of 'thats what she said'. A phrase added to the front of another, innocent sounding statement, which is used to create a funny, possibly obscene, self esteem boosting comment implying that what has just been said is the opposite of what 'she' thinks.

Chris: Jordan your an absolute cunt. You told everyone im a virgin, you give me shit for not driving a Ford Cortina and you screwed my fucking missus!! Your just a useless piece of human garbage!

Jordan: Thats not what she said!

Chris: Thats it man your the biggest prick I know, im gonna fuck you up real good!

Jordan: Thats what she said!!

by Jonny, Jared and Jordan November 25, 2010

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thats not 'news'!

something for you to mutter after hearing the same fucking story the news media/s have 'glommed' on to ad nauseam!!

after hearing the same story over and over for a week+, you can mutter: thats not 'news'!

the news media won't give up on the story!, its' been two weeks...thats not 'news'!

like many of my definitions, 'the thumbs down clown' will probably not like: thats not 'news'!, either!!

lots of my (good) stuff gets rejected!...thats not 'news'!

by michael foolsley June 14, 2011

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i really wanna die today but thats not gonna happend

You Just simply really wanna die today, but that sadly is not gonna happend, idk why you even searched this up, but ok lol.
P.S you also wasted your time reading this.

Person 1: i really wanna die today but thats not gonna happend
Person 2: Don't we all?
Person 1: Shut up.

by im here, but im not here May 20, 2021

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