Jesus

Main character in Son-O-God comics. Worlds first Ophthalmologist/Orthopedist. Suspected communist.
Q. Why did Jesus cross the road?

A. Because he was nailed to the chicken.
by scut monkey August 09, 2009
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Jesus

If you don't know who Jesus is you're retarded
Bob: "Praise Jesus!"
Joe: "Who's that?"
Bob: "My mexican friend who saved my flowers from weeds!"
Joe: "How extrordinary!"
by p69er June 24, 2009
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Jesus

1. a Man that does tricks
2. a fictional character
1. I will turn water into wine
2. Hey! Did you read the Bible? there's this guy called Jesus in it.
by Jospeh526 January 17, 2008
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Jesus

Jesus, a man, who was really alive despite popular belief, you know he was as much alive as you are today it is a historical fact. He was also nailed to a cross which is also a historical fact and Christian's believe to be the personal Lord and Saviour of the world.
Jesus, please come into my heart. Are you there? Over? Can you knock three times on my pancreas if you made it in? Over?
by Emily Lawson May 03, 2008
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Jesus

A schizophrenic person who lived a long time ago with followers who were also schizophrenic
"I am Jesus the Son of God!"
by Tech dude March 17, 2010
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Jesus

Some dude who was born into a crappy family and his mother is somehow a virgin, some hippy probably jacked off and shot into her vag.Got killed and came back as a zombie. If he was alive today he would kill himself after seeing the cult his fictional novel "The Bible" spawned. Pretty cool guy despite the fact he tried to take away violence and wanted every one to be "nice" and that there really is no proof of his existance. He is now completely dead. See fake, phony, bastard
Guy 1: Yo, you know that Jesus dude?
Guy 2: Yea, isnt he in Star Wars?
Guy 1: Dunno, Something fictional like that.

Me: I HATE HIPPIES!!!

Some Skater Hippy Christian who is a MAJOR Gromit:Jezuz iz meh hmeboi lawlz.
Normal Person: Shut up fag. Jesus is Mexican.

by Eww hippies April 29, 2008
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jesus

someone who can't drive
by Yabity October 23, 2010
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