Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
Get the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermimug. For when your D&D party doesn't want to deal with the DM's bullshit, and just burns down the building/church/tower that contains the encounter that they had worked for weeks on.
"You see several Mind Flayers through the open doors of the church. Will you go inside to confront them and save the town?"
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
by Marven Songsteel December 2, 2019
Get the Commit Tentacle Churchmug. Yes crimes against capitalism exist. However this crime is currently not achievable unless G-d says capitalism can't exist.
Commit a crime against capitalism is committed when normal people go nuts 🙃 and want to replace capitalism with their own liberal woke ideas. Punishment: remove people like Bill Gates and John Kerry from all levers of power.
by Sexydimma November 26, 2022
Get the Commit a crime against capitalismmug. when you break off every other relationship you have for one person you hope to date in the future and then realize how unlikely a relationship is with them.
a person who suffers from false-hope-commitment is probably also depressed, if not they will be.
a person who suffers from false-hope-commitment is probably also depressed, if not they will be.
by Anarchon March 17, 2021
Get the false-hope-commitmentmug. by Sexually Attractive Big Mac March 21, 2020
Get the Commit an oofmug. by Alpha Mailman May 18, 2020
Get the Go Commit Vikimug. This is a serious insult. Noone will ever use this, unless you are a murderer. It is incredibly strong, and will decimate.
It is started with the go commit insult.
It is started with the go commit insult.
person1: "yo fam ur mom gay"
person2: "no u bitch kys lol xd fag"
person3: "Guys, don't make me do it."
person 1 and 2: "lol bitch do it i dare you"
person3: "Alright... Go commit vital disfunctions."
*person 1 and 2 absolutely explode and are sent to another dimension where demons stick lollipops up bumholes*
person2: "no u bitch kys lol xd fag"
person3: "Guys, don't make me do it."
person 1 and 2: "lol bitch do it i dare you"
person3: "Alright... Go commit vital disfunctions."
*person 1 and 2 absolutely explode and are sent to another dimension where demons stick lollipops up bumholes*
by hotboylookingtomingle November 22, 2018
Get the go commit vital disfunctionsmug.