Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
Get the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermimug. For when your D&D party doesn't want to deal with the DM's bullshit, and just burns down the building/church/tower that contains the encounter that they had worked for weeks on.
"You see several Mind Flayers through the open doors of the church. Will you go inside to confront them and save the town?"
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
by Marven Songsteel December 2, 2019
Get the Commit Tentacle Churchmug. when you break off every other relationship you have for one person you hope to date in the future and then realize how unlikely a relationship is with them.
a person who suffers from false-hope-commitment is probably also depressed, if not they will be.
a person who suffers from false-hope-commitment is probably also depressed, if not they will be.
by Anarchon March 17, 2021
Get the false-hope-commitmentmug. Yes crimes against capitalism exist. However this crime is currently not achievable unless G-d says capitalism can't exist.
Commit a crime against capitalism is committed when normal people go nuts ๐ and want to replace capitalism with their own liberal woke ideas. Punishment: remove people like Bill Gates and John Kerry from all levers of power.
by Sexydimma November 26, 2022
Get the Commit a crime against capitalismmug. ใ.7.9.7.6.ใ!!!the time for doubt is over now you must go after your number one goal with total commitment and total self belief!!!ใ.7.9.7.6.ใ
ใ.7.9.7.6.ใ!!!the time for doubt is over now you must go after your number one goal with total commitment and total self belief!!!ใ.7.9.7.6.ใ
by .03.4.3.0.ehayusalulA.3.4.3.0. August 11, 2025
Get the ใ.7.9.7.6.ใ!!!the time for doubt is over now you must go after your number one goal with total commitment and total self belief!!!ใ.7.9.7.6.ใmug. You know the cat and mouse game of people trying to decide on when and where to meet, yet wont make any commitments to specifics unless you throw out a time. Yet you know if you do they're going to just say they aren't available but maybe later.
Rhymes with Adam: Is anyone planning on being around tomorrow?
Dr. Orpheus: let's say yes. if there's not normal activity i can come in. was planning to at some point
Smartass Bear: What time of day are we talking about?
Rhymes with Adam: What time are you available?
Smartass Bear: Magic 8 ball says I'm not waking up before noon. So 4pm and on maybe.
....crickets
So that's what Commitment Chicken is...
Dr. Orpheus: let's say yes. if there's not normal activity i can come in. was planning to at some point
Smartass Bear: What time of day are we talking about?
Rhymes with Adam: What time are you available?
Smartass Bear: Magic 8 ball says I'm not waking up before noon. So 4pm and on maybe.
....crickets
So that's what Commitment Chicken is...
by Smartass Bear May 1, 2020
Get the Commitment Chickenmug. by hi352 May 26, 2022
Get the yeetus yeetus commit self deletusmug.