SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

by Catamount June 21, 2008

Commit

Commit: Putting dedication to a particular person or thing

" You can't commit crimes against humanity if you don't consider them humans "

by coreweeee August 29, 2021

yeetus yeetus commit self deletus

to commit suicide

he commited yeetus yeetus commit self deletus

by hi352 May 26, 2022

Commit an oof

To ignite your lightsaber backwards

Bro, don't commit an oof

by Sexually Attractive Big Mac March 21, 2020

go commit bungee jump with rope

One of, if not the, worst thing you can say to someone.

Bob: Go commit not alive.
John: Go commit bungee jump with rope.
Bob: *Fricking dead.*

by Cyka420BlyatNuggets November 16, 2018

go commit vital disfunctions

This is a serious insult. Noone will ever use this, unless you are a murderer. It is incredibly strong, and will decimate.
It is started with the go commit insult.

person1: "yo fam ur mom gay"
person2: "no u bitch kys lol xd fag"
person3: "Guys, don't make me do it."
person 1 and 2: "lol bitch do it i dare you"
person3: "Alright... Go commit vital disfunctions."
*person 1 and 2 absolutely explode and are sent to another dimension where demons stick lollipops up bumholes*

by hotboylookingtomingle November 22, 2018

Go Commit Viki

The action of screaming incoherently at the first person you see using a mobile device.

"Go Commit Viki, Viki!"

by Alpha Mailman May 18, 2020