turd burglar

a funny insult which could be used when someone is/was being a dick, usually in a non-serious manner (also see turgle for further details).

mike: *steals jenny's phone*
jenny: give it back you turd burglar

by eminemanemone December 13, 2018

spackle burglar

To lick your half dried cum from your girlfriend’s mouth after she falls asleep

Hey dude, my girlfriend fell asleep after she blew me and I couldn’t stop myself from tasting the little bit of cum she left in the corner of her mouth. Am I a spackle burglar?

by spank-the-monkee June 10, 2018

Smurf burglar

A person, generally a major asshole, that is such an asshole he would literally rob smurfs in their sleep. Who would rob the harmless smurfs?

That guy's misogynistic comment just shows everyone how much of a Smurf burglar he is, what an asshole.

by Nathaniel S. January 13, 2022

Smurf burglar

A person, generally a major asshole, that is such an asshole he would literally rob smurfs in their sleep. Who would rob the harmless smurfs?

That guy stole my wallet in my sleep at a party, after i paid for all the beer and food, where i fell asleep for a second, just shows everyone how much of a Smurf burglar he is, what an asshole.

by Nathaniel S. January 13, 2022

Heard Burglar

Someone who realizes the public knows they turd the bed and wants to deny and cover it up… with both sheets and lawyers hired from wish.

She showed just how poorly her acting was and even looked like she was straining on the stand after all the world discovered she is a Heard Burglar.

by LightFoe May 24, 2022

Turd Burglar

A person who anally fists another, grabbing the feces inside the anal cavity. The fister then removes the contents of the anus and proceeds to Waluigi-run away from the crime scene (usually while also maniacally laughing). This is a very real and lucrative crime. On average a turd burglary occurs at least once every hour.

911 Operator: “911, what’s your emergency?”
Victim: “I need to report a burglary.”
911 Operator: “what was stolen.”
Victim: “I’d prefer not to say. Please send an officer quick! The turd burglar is getting away!”

by Definitely *NOT a Turd Burglar May 30, 2022

Clam Burglar

Clam Burglar:

(Cl-am Berg-ger-lar)

1. Noun: An aggressive lesbian

2. Verb: To grab a lady by the pussy

3. Noun: A thief who steals exclusively clams from a seafood market or Red Lobster

John Doe: “Hey. That’s definitely a Clam Burglar over there in the Peanutbutter Hair Cut and hairy armpits.

Jim Doe: “Nah homes…. That’s Crystal…She just likes to weed eight times a day….”

by C.S.H. March 13, 2022