shake hands with the unemployed

British phrase, meaning male urinating.

"I'll be back in a jiff, I've got to go shake hands with the unemployed."

by Alexandra July 29, 2004

shaking hands with the unemployed

jerkin off

My girlfriend is out of town, so, I've been shaking hands with the unemployed.

by Hairy Palmer January 24, 2003

shake the hand of the unemployed

For males who are not getting sex on a regular basis, when they go to the toilet to take a piss and when they finish, shake their penis to get off the last few drops of pee. That action is shaking the hand of the unemployed.

Arnold asked Helen where the toilet was, as he needed to go shake the hand of the unemployed.

by Ethal The Frog September 24, 2013

shake hands with the unemployed

what guys who can't get a girlfriend do

When someone has spent too long in the toilet: "Have you been shaking hands with the unemployed?"

by Monodon July 27, 2004

Onboarding unemployed

Onboarding unemployed: A conditional offer to work for a job but you got fired before you even started.

After doing a finger print a few days later I had to do a wellness and health exam. I ask for special testing accommodations but I didn’t get any answer. I was supposed to get a start date but didn’t receive my onboarding papers. I guess I got “onboarding unemployed.” She told me that they’re no longer hiring.

by Bigbirddebelen October 20, 2022

Unemployed Brainrot Bangers

A series of TikTok audios made by famous content creator Vexbolts often consist of remixes of trending audios. These remixes typically consist of various brain-rot vocabulary in place of the original lyrics.

Oh shit, Vexbolts dropped more Unemployed Brainrot Bangers

by Juggastein January 22, 2025

Unemploy ploy

Unemployment

Man I can’t wait til that unemploy ploy hit my card. I need those J’s

by Sandy Says February 20, 2021