shake hands with the unemployed

British phrase, meaning male urinating.

"I'll be back in a jiff, I've got to go shake hands with the unemployed."

by Alexandra July 29, 2004

shaking hands with the unemployed

jerkin off

My girlfriend is out of town, so, I've been shaking hands with the unemployed.

by Hairy Palmer January 24, 2003

shake the hand of the unemployed

For males who are not getting sex on a regular basis, when they go to the toilet to take a piss and when they finish, shake their penis to get off the last few drops of pee. That action is shaking the hand of the unemployed.

Arnold asked Helen where the toilet was, as he needed to go shake the hand of the unemployed.

by Ethal The Frog September 24, 2013

shake hands with the unemployed

what guys who can't get a girlfriend do

When someone has spent too long in the toilet: "Have you been shaking hands with the unemployed?"

by Monodon July 27, 2004

Unemployed Eye

An extremely bad lazy eye

Alex- “Holy shit, that is so fucking ugly!”
Preston- “I know, that isn’t a lazy eye; that’s an unemployed eye.”
Alex- “Oo!”
Preston- “Haha- Haha!”
Alex- “Go ahead and add that to the Urban Dictionary!”
Preston- “”
Alex- “Go ahead and add that to the Urban Dictionary!”
Preston- “Okay, I will.”

by pastvp May 17, 2025

Unemploy ploy

Unemployment

Man I can’t wait til that unemploy ploy hit my card. I need those J’s

by Sandy Says February 19, 2021

unemployed behavior

Behavior indicative of someone with too much time on their hands, lack of grounding in the culture of the proverbial "real world," and no urge to better oneself as opposed to merely pleasuring oneself.

Common among people with substantial savings, willing acquaintances, or SSDI/welfare checks to eliminate the immediate need for a job that would both limit one's free time (encouraging someone to use it wisely) and force a person to consider their fellow man's opinions more often.

Natalie just sits around all day and records all kinds of random sounds to make annoying songs out of on Ableton! Such unemployed behavior!

Jonas spends countless hours engaged in the unemployed behavior of becoming a hackeysack pro.

by NegativeReferral May 15, 2025