tortoise

Noun (ancient Roman military term): a battle tactic in which a squad of soldiers close ranks into a tight square and link their shields over their heads and at their sides all around, creating a nearly impenetrable formation which can advance and engage enemy positions at close range without taking heavy casualties.

During the battle at the Moon Gate in Alexandria, Caesar ordered the deployment of the tortoise formation to neutralize the enemy ballistas.

by speedog July 27, 2010

overturned tortoise

Having sex with an epileptic pitching a fit.

I did the overturned tortoise last night, arms and legs everywhere.

by Joshyyyy February 12, 2010

Overturned tortoise

Norfolk slang for a girl who is begging for sex, because she just can't get any action otherwise.

Person 1: You know that Dutch girl who moved to Norfolk? She's such an overturned tortoise!
Person 2: I know, right...

by Dragonfyre1 February 12, 2010

tortoise

when one ejaculates on another's back and sticks a pillow to it.

"Forget getting Supermanned, that bitch got Tortoised!!"

by lpLPlp April 5, 2010

backwards tortoise

A fictitious yoga pose which requires incredible flexibility where a person shoves their head up their own ass. Used mainly toward arrogant yoga aficionados.

Girl: Yoga is so good for your heart and soul; it's way better than lifting weights.
Guy: Oh yeah? Well, why don't you go perform the backwards tortoise then, bitch.

by mrsteveo March 24, 2009

The Gaming Tortoise

The person in your friend group that you always have to wait for when you're all playing games together because they are stuck on a level.

Bob: C'mon guys lets hurry this up!
Bill: *gets caught up*
Nathan: GUYS IM STUCK
Johnathan: *gets caught up* Hurry up! You're 100% The Gaming Tortoise of our friend group!

by McDonaldsOfAustralia February 5, 2023

Tortoise Launcher

Where defacating takes place into the inner workings of a high-powered vacuum. The vacuum is then set in the reverse operation to ejaculate your steaming excraments at very high velocity into the face of your loved one.

Dude, Wilbur totally screwed up my vacuum when he gave your girlfriend one wicked Tortoise Launcher.

by Wyatt Erp January 21, 2010