Deep within the bowels of James River
High School, four men belonging to the meanest clique in the white suburbs of Chesterfield, created what has been described as “ a
dance that is a metaphor for the streets”. I speak of course of The Condor, a
dance that takes skill, dedication, focus and a six foot wing span.
How To Do The Condor: First squat with your knees bowed out. Then balance on the toes of your
feet like a triumphant predatory bird on the hunt. Finally, begin to flap your arms in a graceful yet aggressive manor like that of a Condor, letting everyone around you know you are a boss.
It’s best to do the Condor at Prom, pep rallies or in public places in the presence of strangers. Always begin any “car dance” with a solid 45 second Condor. Remember that by doing the Condor you are letting everyone within a 50 foot radius know that you are the shit, simply by paying homage to the greatest avian species on Earth. Long live the CONDOR!
