by Josh Coey February 01, 2007
A man from Florida nakedly planks across two little people, who use their above-average upper body strength to support Florida Man’s weight, evenly distributed, of course. Florida Man then masturbates himself to completion onto the awaiting back of a delegate from the Czech Republic, who is crawling on all fours, shirtless, back and forth under the planking Florida Man. The maneuver is complete once the two little people sufficiently belittle Florida Man for his lack of teeth and sperm count.
Meg: Pat has been arrested twice now for his unauthorized performance of the Florida Man Self Czech Out.
James: That’s right! You actually have to be a state resident to perform that unindictedly.
James: That’s right! You actually have to be a state resident to perform that unindictedly.
by Blowhole Immersion August 19, 2023
Men of all ages gather in a swamp in Florida and masturbate harder than ever before with the crocs and each man see who can ejaculate on the most crocodiles without getting a croc to attack
Me and all my elementary school homies flew down to Florida and had the most lovely Florida man Fuckfest till little Timmy didn’t escape when the crocodile attacked and now we did it again to honor him, couldn’t even make it past second grade
by Indian Blowhole lover January 02, 2023
"Hey you know that Bald Florida Man who plays 2b2t?"
"Yeah, you're talking about FitMC. About Yea high,plays Minecraft and he pumps iron."
"Yeah, you're talking about FitMC. About Yea high,plays Minecraft and he pumps iron."
by Ps4 Name: Barce4life88 March 27, 2020
Everyone has heard an adult human rectum can stretch to 7 inches without tearing; and that raccoons can fit into holes as small as four inches. The Florida Man, takes advantage of those last few inches of clearance with the addition of an adult brown striped Atlantic octopus. Octopi can fit into anything larger than their beak. So to preform the Florida Man, one must simply trap a dumpster raccoon, catch an adult Atlantic octopus, and then hogtie the raccoon using the Optimus’s tentacles. At that point a fair amount of axle grease should ease the transition into the rectum, potato cannons can also be used for extra Florida points. The two animals will then fight to the death in the recipient’s rectum, without ever tearing the sphincter.
Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.
It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.
Bets should be placed about which animal will come out the victor.
It is also important not to bitch out and use Atlantic Pygmy octopi as they are venomous.
Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen come into the ER? We once had a guy come in with a dead raccoon and a live octopus up his ass. Everyone with him apparently had bets going about which animal would be dead when we removed them. They called it the Florida Man Colonsseum
by Jdh1002 April 12, 2023
by local floridian man January 11, 2023
When a man makes a jar of shit and cum and blends it, mixes it with water, pours it on someone's face, pins them down and farts on them for 5 minute straight until shit comes out, then proceeds to shove a tiny turd up the woman's vigina. and scream at her face and run away.
by Cool Kid Library March 23, 2023